TOKEN of LOVE

SD 1.3.34 Comm. "He [Lord Krishna] thinks  'Let this jiva see me'.  If the merciful desire of the Lord arises, then he acts in this way."

I was seen ~

for a minute fraction of time,

in less than an instant

I felt stripped,

the talkative thoughts of my mind

were choked,

for in that single moment,

the blind obscuring my soul

dropped,

and time, as I usually perceive,

was not,

the walls, the shadows,

a labyrinth of beliefs

about "me",

just stopped,

and knots known

to be binding my heart

were dissolved.

I was seen ~

then skies of emotions

distilled in one drop of time,

just like the heart

condenses

the immensity of love

in one tear,

and I felt intensely loved,

I was seen ~

there was light

meant not for the eyes

but for my heart.

When that dot of time had elapsed,

I became greedy,

and I wept,

for one more

token of love.

Nitai is Balaram

The many aspects of the eccentricity of Nityananda defeat the madness of illusory existence without the Lord.  Without Balaram we will believe the uniqueness of Maya. For the mercy of Lord Nityananda we can realize the existence of the Lord in  mantras. Balarama embodies the  quality of omnipresence of the Lord.  For the grace of Lord Nityananda we receive the Mahamantra and for His grace we hear it while we chant it.  By developing infinitesimally one quality of one  mouth of Ananta Sesa, Lord Balaram, we transcend the material energy.  The intent of the creation as enacted by Lord Balaram is spiritual. Lord balarama is in constant expansion through each sound which is uttered to glorify the Lord. Whatever form re-establishes the existence of the Lord is Balaram. Lord Balaram when manifests His lila in the material world is often furious because the refusal of the Lord, present only here, is the  challenge to Him, who is the very existence of the Lord.

"The Sesa who is the adhara-sakti (supporter-power) of the bedstead of Visnu (Wielder of the Sarnga bow), is in the category of God (Visnu-tattva).

The Sesa who bears the globes is an avesa-Avatara (absorption-avatara) of Krsna (or Sankarsana), and therefore He is (also) known as Sankarsana. The bedstead feature of Sesa always considers Himself to be an eternal servitor and friend of the Lord Sarngadhara (wielder of the Sarnga bow)."Bhaktisiddhanta S. Thakur

           Nitai is Baladev         ⁽¹⁾

without chess board

but with a love load

abandoning all rules

has become an avadhut.

Balaram is the throne,

the umbrella, the flute  

Nitai is the servant of Mahaprabhu,

Nitai is Baladev and Ananta Sesa,

with thousands mouths

chants "Hari Hari" in Gaudadesha;

Nitai is Balaram

the sustainer of the worlds

catches Nimai

who in love sways and falls, ⁽²⁾

always by His sides

Nitai holds his crackedling throne. ⁽³⁾

Nitai is Baladev, unarmed

shooting love through His glance

brings the river of prem,

without a plow in His hand;

Balaram constantly, repeatedly

expands in sound

Nitai graces all entities

with the Great Mantra

and the abilitity to hear it

as the Paramatma.

Balaram is Nitai, 

who carries a staff

His clothes are blue

wears one earring

and has become an avadhut.

Balaram has the gait of an elephant

reveals force and power

but Nitai, with the soft feet of a dancer 

intoxicated by sweetness, meanders;

Nitai is Balaram causing an ocean to rise

the heart cannot stop to dance and to cry

leaving the ego and the pride

to drown and die.

Nitai is Balaram the upholder of rules

but now is an avadhut.

1         1)    CC Adi 5.6 "That original Lord Kṛṣṇa appeared in Navadvīpa as Lord                       Caitanya, and Balarāma appeared with Him as Lord Nityānanda."

2)    ”As the powerful Nityananda caught hold of the Lord, Advaita secretly took the dust from the Lord’s feet.”  Caitanya Bhagavata MK 8.143

3)    “He (Caitanya) sat down upon Vishnu’s throne.  The seat crakled under His weight.  Nityananda quickly rushed to hold up.” Caitanya Bhagavata MK 8.283

The Song of Pingala

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_
continue=54&v=NMrRzDJ3Wuc

Uddhava Gita 2.28 "Now please hear from me the song sung by [Pingala] the prostitute ..."

Pingala is a prostitute.  This might rise the query from the reader how one can gain by hearing a poetry describing the greed and miserable life of a prostitute, but 

Pingala's story is told by Lord Krishna to Uddhava and sastra so instruct about this type of narration : Itihasa-samucchaya [SD 3.5.12 Comm.]  "What result can be attained by describing the lust of lusty men and the greed of greedy men, except to sent them into the darkness of a well? In the Mahabharata, lust and greed are described to purify people's hearts, and are moreover condemned by stories with pure meaning.  Otherwise, why would the most merciful and learned Vyasa describe lust and greed, the cause of bondage to terrible material existence?"

Pingala's is just one of the sixteen stories that an avadhuta brahmana told to King Yadu. Every story is a lesson about material life and Krishna retells the whole narration to Uddhava ~ in the section of the Bhagavatam (11th Canto) called "Uddhava Gita" ~ during His final instructions before closing up His pastimes on Earth.  Therefore so auspicious and beneficial is hearing and learning from this story.

Disturbances in Vraja

SD 10.22.34  "These trees fulfill one's desires with their leaves, flowers and fruits, their shade, roots, bark and wood, and also with their fragrance, sap, ashes, pulp and shoots."

This sloka is spoken by Krishna to the cowherd boys.  He is describing the pleasure that the trees give to him for their nature of using their life and qualities to serve others.

"Disturbances in Vraja" is the way Bhaktivinoda Thakura called the anarthas, which are the greatest impediment for the conditioned jiva to enter the spiritual world. The tree of the ego that we have grown in lifetimes of vicious activities carries the leaves of bad qualities and egotistical mind set.  So the devotee by sadhana bhakti with faith, devotion and concentration, should let all these leaves to go and transform the tree of envy, the anchor to material life, into one of the trees that give happiness to Krishna, because everyone's happiness is in Krishna's happiness.  This realization can start the process for clearing the anarthas (or anartha nivrtti).

Ripe and ready

for the transforming wind

of the autumn season,

that clears the sky, the waters    

            and the mind,         ⁽¹⁾

I let go the leaves

from the tree of my ego,

I'll not feel pain

letting go the dead leaves

of arguments and conflicts,

growing instead a soft smile within,

while the emptiness of my heart

rustles and is blown away like a dry leaf.

I will look at untruthfulness,

false pretense, hypocrisy

and desire for superiority,

as brown parched leaves

releasing them with joy

into the purifying gusts

of this wind,

feeling peaceful and free

as the leaves of deception

and conceit

drop from my tree;

without hesitation

I will look into layers

of memory

       from where unwanted results       ⁽²⁾

life after life have sprouted,

and now are yellow stale leaves

ready to be detached from the tree

by this wind of mercy.

My heart will rejoice

when finally Krishna,

seated in my heart,

crushes with His weight

of sweetness

the remaining hard-shelled

acorns of pride, vanity

and the stardom-me

then with consciousness filled

with devotion,

in bliss and relieved

that I, like the tree,

now denuded of envy,

am ready to sprout anew,

and give happiness to Krishna

               with leaves, shoots,             ⁽³⁾

flowers and fruits.

1) SD 10.20.32-33 "... the fall season arrived, when the sky is cloudless, the water clear and wind gentle.

"The autumn season, which regenerated the lotus flowers, also restored the various bodies of water to their original purity, just as the process of devotional service purifies the minds of the fallen yogis when they return to it."

2) Literal translation of the word "anarthas".

3) CC Adi Lila 3.63 " [...]His smiling glance at once drives away all the bereavements of the world, and His very words enliven the auspicious creepers of devotion by expanding their leaves."

FACING the UNWANTED

GB 1.46 "Speaking in this manner, Arjuna, giving up his bow and arrow, his mind disturbed with lamentation, sat down on his chariot amidst the conflict."

This poetry expresses the feelings and realizations of being  one " Arjuna"  who after hearing the Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam (for many years) still is looking at his toes in ignorance. Then someone, a wise seer, speaking to my heart, unveiled the path from where I got stuck, infused me the faith in the scripture, in the process of bhakti, so to rise and combat.

"Facing the unwanted" is the time of introspection when the "unwanted" - the egotistical aspects of the ego - are recognized as the stumbling blocks to firm faith and to steadiness on the path of bhakti.

SD 3.25.33 "Bhakti, devotional service, dissolve the subtle body of the living entity without separate effort, just as fire in the stomach digests all that we eat."

My chariot has stopped

after jolting to and fro,

and I'm aware only of my toes

soaked in tears,

as I sit looking down

as if no sound is around,

and for so long not knowing

where I am.

My chariot has stopped

and with deep sorrow,

my head hanging down,

I sit with pity without piety,

surrounded by a throbbing silence

caused by the emptiness of my heart,

lamenting, unable to look up,  ⁽¹⁾

confused and oblivious to everyone.

Then a hand, a touch,

a benevolent voice,

calls forth 'the Arjuna'

ready to combat,

infuses in me the force

     with care and wise words   ⁽²⁾

to perceive how my chariot

got stuck,

by cumulated layers, life after life

        of unwanted results,     ⁽³⁾

to see that Krishna is in front,

ready to lead,

personal,

with qualities and shining limbs,

friend, well-wisher, eager

for a loving relationship,

and that between two forces,  ⁽⁴⁾

only by mercy, bhakti will appear

like a moon from an eclipse

dissolving the unfavorable duality. ⁽⁵⁾

My chariot has halted

but now I stand up,

without duplicity and ado  ⁽⁶⁾

assessing my heart

start my chariot anew.

1) SD 2.9.34 "One should understand my maya by whose power real objects are perceived through vidya and false objects are perceived through avidya, in relation to the self ..."

Pity for oneself, confusion and lamentation are expansions of the maya sakti through the function of avidya and are perceived as existent by the conditioned soul in ignorance (without piety or sattva).

2) Under the care, benevolence and guidance of guru.

3) "Unwanted results" is the literal translation of  anarthas.  SB 4.29.37 Purport  "Saṁsṛti, or material existence, begins with the illusioned bodily conception of life, and on the basis of this conception there ensues a series of unwanted things (anarthas). These unwanted things are actually mental desires for various types of sense gratification. In this way one accepts different types of bodies within this material world." 

4) Vidya and Avidya which were present in Kurukshetra as the two confronting armies : Yudisthira's  and Duryodhana's respectively. Bhakti is independent from the two and appears only by grace of Krishna, Bhakti-devi and pure bhakta.

5) Maya-sakti involves two functions and one is unfavorable to the jiva (avidya) and the other is favorable for liberation through knowledge (vidya).  Bhakti dissolves both being two aspects of the material energy because the Lord cannot be realized by sattva : SB11.14.21 "I am achieved by bhakti only".

6) Facing the unwanted starts by being truthful firstly to oneself.

ARROWS of LOVE

SD 1.9.38 "O Krishna! Let my only goal be Mukunda, Who, afflicted by my sharp arrows, armor broken, covered in blood, rushed towards me, His enemy, with great force, in order to kill me."

As much as this pastime of Krishna and Bhismadeva is meant to bewilder the mundane minds, it gives great ecstasy and inspiration to the devotees. This poem has been inspired by the prism of rasas in the pages of the Bhagavatam, which, just like those that speak of Arjuna, also expose the devotional sentiments of Bhismadeva. Here he drops the 'adherent-to-dharma' character of the Mahabharata and reveals himself as a pure devotee in a mix of service and chivalry rasas.

This is the moment that Krishna makes Bhismadeva's greatness, glories and devotion known to the world by coming to his side : -

BRS 2.1.134 [Krishna] "...because of Bhisma's remembrance of Him while laying on the bed of sharp arrows, immediately appeared, beyond His own control. He rushed towards Bhisma while forgetting His position as God, His body bathed in a shower of tears." 

Krishna Katha

SB 2.2.37 "Those who drink the sweet pastimes of the Lord and his devotees held in the cups of their ears clean their hearts of all contamination and attain the lotus feet of the Lord for service."

SBMM 20.59 "O great hero, kindly allow us to drink the nectar of Your lotus lips This nectar increases one's love for You, destroys one's lamentation, is constantly relished by Your enchanting flute, and it transforms the living entities' material attachments."

This poem was inspired by the following excerpt from a commentary of Srimad B. Narayana Goswami Maharaja where he explains about the adharamrita or the nectar from Krishna's lips.

"The deer and cuckoos are indeed fortunate, but the most fortunate are the gopis, who can directly taste Krishna's original adharamrita.  The deer and the cuckoos cannot relish this adharamrta directly, but they can listen to Krishna's flute-song.  And there are others, who can hear about Krishna's pastimes.  They hear that Krsna is playing His flute and that all human beings, animals, birds and other creatures in Vrindavana are hearing His flute-song. As a result of listening to narrations of His pastimes, these persons, too, develop the ambition to hear His flute." Gopi Gita commentary by Srimad B. Narayana Goswami Maharaja.

Season of surrender

From Hayasirsa pancaratra quoted in Gopala Campu Ch.1.35 "Description of Goloka" :

The pleasurable nature of material objects like flowers with fragrance and taste exist in the spiritual world as the very essence of pleasure.  Because the objects are devoid of any inferior qualities belonging to material objects they are the very form of pleasure.  Know that the faulty portions of a fruit like skin, seed and tough sections exist in material objects.  Nothing in the spiritual world is made of material elements."

Srila Prabhupada : "whether it is unripe or ripe a mango is a mango"

Morning Love

 "Another gazing in his face,

sits wistfully apart,

searching it with those  

looks of love that leap from   

heart to heart;"

Her eyes afire with shy desire, 

 veiled by their lashes black, 

speak so that Krishna cannot choose 

but send the message back, ..."

                                                 from the Gita Govinda

    This poem narrates the playful exchanges of glances between Radha and Krishna during the morning pastimes. The daily pastimes of Radha and Krishna are occurring in eight sections (asta-kaliya-nitya lila) during the day and the Acharyas have sung repeatedly about them as a confidential meditation. Breakfast is part of the morning pastimes where the situation finds Radha and Krishna exchanging glances to send hidden messages.                    

 Morning Love

The bright morning rays

shone on golden plates and trays,

reflecting the hue of her face,

which he searched for and embraced

with the limbs of his gaze.

The Door Ajar to Vraja

“In Vrndavana there are no Jewel trees without Jewel branches and no jewel branches without Jewel buds. There are no jewel buds without Jewel flowers and there are no jewel flowers without attractive scent. There are water basins surrounding the bases of the trees. The bases are filled with flowing streams appearing like piles of liquid Jewels arising from Jewel mountains. Jewel birds ornament the jeweled bases.”

From- Ananda-vrndavana-campu 1.117-120

"The forest of Vrndavana, which automatically nurtures good qualities within its residents, is unlimited but it appears to be only eighty-four krosas in circumference.  Its golden trees, bushes, and creepers sparkle like emeralds. Fragrant creepers cover the golden jewel inlaid footpaths.  Some places abound in crystal trees, bushes and creepers standing on earth made of rubies.  In other places ruby creepers entwine crustal houses, golden creepers embrace emerald trees, or emerald creepers surround golden trees.  One can also see crystal creepers crawling up ruby trees, or ruby creepers embracing crystal trees."
Ananda-vrndavana-campu ~ Description of Vrndavana

This poem is dedicated to Srila Saccidananda Bhaktivinoda Thakur, one of the great poets and Acharyas of the Gaudiya Sampradaya. He describes in some of his songs, the ecstatic visions of Vraja occurred during his meditations and samadhi.  Often, when chanting my japa, I have walked in my mind to his house in Godrum and then climbed up the staris to the tiny room where he used to chant. It is an offering of gratitude for this legacy of books and teachings. I am always praying for his blessings and guidance.

O mind ~

                        take me to Godrum                      ⁽¹⁾  

to the house of Thakur ~

at the gate side

I will humbly leave my shoes

 and bow and sit in the dark room

to chant my japa;

and you may go to Vraja

where the moon never wanes,

and liquefied love fills the lakes,

where nectar flows in the river

 and tears from the eyes spill,

 soaking the soil mixed with milk,

                     where the charming sound of              ⁽²⁾

 churning and yearning,

singing and jingling,

mingles with fragrances in the breeze;

Where women appear

                    2  from flowering vines,                   ⁽³⁾

and along with trees

 and every being with limbs,

dance ecstatically

in the wind;

birds drink nectar from the Moon,

at night, lotuses bloom

in waters of desire,

eyes turn into bumblebees - at times

stealing the pollen of the Gopis’ minds;

their dresses, the bark of desire trees,
 caress their skin

and become loose

when the note of autumn

pours from the flute;

there caves and riverbanks

are paved with gems,

and flowers and buds

are shining stones

encrusted in jewelled branches;

When seasons of pleasure unfold,

blanketing with petals

valleys and roads,

bowers and groves,

the land and the plants,

bliss oozes as sap,

diadems and garlands

bloom on the trees,

riddles make a juice

of red fruits and reddish lips,

of sweat and musk,

of dusk and dust,

of lotuses and dew,

every word tastes blue.

 Garlanded by kunds

of the liquid love of Radha
is this land of Vraja.

O Mahajana,

by the shelter of this japa

please give me darshan of Vraja,

bestow upon me this mercy ~

to take into my heart

 just one glimpse

through the door,

kept ajar 

by the Golden Avatar!

Notes

  ⁽¹⁾  "O Gurudeva! You have very mercifully given me a place in Godruma within the forest of Gaura Mandala.  You have ordered me to dwell in this place which is [non different from] Vraja and to chant the holy names of Sri Hari." ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

" Sri Prema das Babaji, being a scholar of the scriptures, understood that Sri Godrum was like Sri Nanda-grama, that in Vrindavan, therefore he settled in this sacred area." Jaiva Dharma by BVThakur

 ⁽²⁾ SBB Vol.III 6.31 "... all about I heard wonderful songs, sung by cowherd women, and the charmin gsound of the churning of butter and the jingling of bangles."

⁽³⁾ Sri Garga Samhita 1.5.10 "Sri Hari said : In Vrindavana, at the end of Dvapara-yuga, you will become flowering vines and then you will change into women in the arena of the rasa dance.  I promise this to you."