Debt of Love

CC Antya Lila 7.43 "The conjugal love of the gopīs is the most exalted devotional service, surpassing all other methods of bhakti. Therefore Lord Krishna is obliged to say, 'My dear gopīs, I cannot repay you. Indeed, I am always indebted to you."

Prema-vilas - Ch 7. Text 126-127  by Srila Nityananda Das

"Feeling separation from Me, Radha and the gopis have given up Their lives.  Now I shall also give up My life for her.  You will see me in that condition, O Lokanath."

Excerpted from Sri Krishna Kathamrita Bindu Issue No134

"With that prema they [gopis] have given up everything. [...] By their love, Krishna's promise was broken. His pormise is -'As someone approaches me I reciprocate accordingly' {Bg 4.11} Krishna never becomes indebted, He always repays his debts. But this promise of his was broken by the gopis, because the gopis do not want anything, how will he repay them?

[...] {Bhag. 10.32.22} "I have become completely indebted to you. I cannot pay you back, because you don't want anything. What shall I do?"

To pay back his debt he became Gaura, assuming the mood of Radharani is crying and feeling acute pangs of separation from Krishna. This is Gaura. [...] As Radharani is crying, crying, crying and drowning herself in this unfathomable ocean of separation, similarly Gaura is burning himself with the fire of separations from Krishna."

Messenger of Love (Lyrics) ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

Excerpt from a lecture of Srila Gour Govinda Maharaja  

Uddhava back from Vraja

"Krishna had also another intention in sending Uddhava to Vrajabhumi. He wanted that Uddhava would come to the platform of pure love. Krishna knew this would happen when he saw the gopis, especially Radharani, Then he would understand the love they had developed. Therefore Krishna sent Uddhava there. "

Uddhava said to Kṛṣṇa, "My dear Kṛṣṇa, all the gopīs are so afflicted by Your absence that they have become almost mad. O Murāri, at home Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī laughs unnecessarily and, like a madwoman, inquires about You from every entity without distinction, even from the stones. She rolls on the ground, unable to bear the agony of Your absence." from Lalita Madhava as referred to in CC Antya 14.53 purport

♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ LISTEN AT THE MUSIC ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ Click link :

https://soundcloud.com/mauro-auaro/messenger-of-love-2016

When your heart needed telling

I was the messenger of love

You took my hand - in yours to hold

You spoke a secret never told

          Your nights were not the same feeling love, its waves

          Your heart cried - knowing their pains

When your heart needed telling

I did not know the burning of love

Without you they are lost and lifeless

That girl raved in hopeless-ness

          What she said I can't retell -  wise words fell

          My soothing attempts – couldn’t help.

                    (R)     Return to them - my Friend

                              Your words were mere drops for them

                              Lost in dunes burning without you

                              There was nothing, nothing I could do  (could do)

                             Their love is in You.

When your heart needed telling

I came to know about their love

Light seemed to be turned off

Sighs echoed in empty troughes

          Eyes were staring at a distant point

          And all were crying, where were you

When your heart needed telling

I was touched by pure love

I am not the same of the past

I wish to be a blade of grass

          Where the dust from their feet - falls on me

          While they rush to you in love.

                    (R)     Return to them - my Friend

                              Your words were mere drops for them

                              Lost in dunes burning without you

                              There was nothing, nothing I could do  (could do)

                             Their love is in You.

When your heart needed telling

I was the messenger of love

Tales of Wheels and Devotion

Tales of Wheels and Devotion

The remembrance of Krishna's pastimes often rides on wheels. 

This poem retells a few events that depict Krishna on a chariot while enacting His pastimes with His devotees.

In the first scene is the bullock cart that carried small Gopal, Nanda Pran, from Mahavan to Vrindavan in order to protect Him from the demon's attacks. It ends with the meeting in Kurukshetra because of the desire of the Gopis to move the chariot with Krishna back to Vraja. 

I hope the reader will also cherish the taste of Krishna's names that are mostly associated with Nanda Baba in order to keep Him in our hearts as the cowherd of the gopis and gopas, even though some pastimes are in His royal disguise. 

BRS 1.2.168 Seeing the festivals (verse 87) from Bhavisyottara : 
"The dog-eaters and other low persons who joyfully see Kesava on His chariot all become associates of the Lord."

---

Tales of Wheels and Devotion

 With many wheels clattering

and stirring up clouds of dust,

  the long line of bullock carts
meandered like a river
  in the light of dusk.
Amidst this clamor of

bugles, bells, bellowing
and colored flags flapping,

songs rose up

from the caravan

leaving Mahavan

out of love for Nanda Pran.

On another day
when the light was the same,

a gilded chariot of royal fame,

 clattered,

sinister and cruel
in a flurry of dust,

taking Nanda Gopal away

so that love melted the stones (1)

with tears of despair.

Winged by the whisper

of the heart,

the chariot of Nanda Kumar

flew to a place afar,

committed to His promise

to reciprocate His devotee's love,

He plucked the precious Lotus,

leaving the proud princes

aghast. (2)

The rattle of wheels and swords

again saw Nanda Kishor

on a chariot.

In a din of shouts and blows,

where the red blood dyed

the dust, the sky and all eyes,

 for love this time

He led the ride.

His curls, sticky and ashen

with sweat and dust,

and His skin smeared with blood,

 He hurled the wheel as He rushed (3)

toward a chivalrous heart,

astounded with awe

by the wondrous sight

of his lotus red eyed foe.

When His heart wept,

heavy with a debt of love,

Nanda Dulal unsteadily

boarded His chariot,

pierced the night,

rode at the speed
of light,

and came to the forest grove,

to the petal bed of His Beloved,

 where, out of intense love

    She was on the verge of death. (4)

The royal chariot

has come back,

without that snake of torment,  (5)

instead, Nandu's friend

is walking ahead

of Nanda Suta,

 adorned with gems;

He is no more a cowherd

in this land (6)

where the Moon sets

but no lotuses bloom.

Let's turn these wheels

and move

them towards Vraja,

but, once amongst those kunds

this cruel chariot,

memento of separation

and tears,

will have to leave 
to remove our fear

of seeing Nanda-Lal carried away,

and the Vanadevis languishing

in love and in madness once again.

1) Bhakti Ratnakara p.144 " What can I say? Only those who saw the scene can understand. All the damsels of Vraja came running to see Krishna with tears flowing like rivers from their eyes. Seeing that scene even wood and stone melted.

2) Krishna kidnaps Rukmini

3) Krishna act as Arjuna's charioteer during the battle. In a Chivalrous rasa with His devotee, apparently playing the part of His enemy, Krishna hurled a wheel to Bhismadeva.

4) "Three logs of wood" story retold by Srimad Gour Govinda Maharja as the first Ratha Yatra.  Krishna inebriated by his feelings for Radha, mounts the chariot to fly to Vraja.  In the same way Lord Jagannath in Puri is carried to the chariot by the pujaris who shake Him as if drunk to remember this pastime. (see also in blog "Canticle of Union")

5) Garga Samhita 5.15.10 "At what inauspicious moment did his mother, in order to give pain to the loving devotees, give birth to Akrura? She did it as Kadru, in order to randomly kill people here and there, gave birth to the species of snakes." Purport [...] Vicious humans may also behave like cruel snakes and since he (Akrura) mercilessly took Krsna away from them, the gopis considered Akrura to be among such horrible creatures whose birth must have been timed a the most inauspicious moment.

6) Kurukshetra. -- When Nanda Suta and the gopis met in Kurukshetra they were emaciated so much so that their rings had become bangles around their wrists, their hair were uncombed and their dresses untied, so Krishna understood the intensity of their pains of separation.  He started a sort of long soliloquy in the attempt to justify what happened that He did not returned. He spoke about yoga, about the will of the  Supreme, about providence, but it all sounded very confused.  The gopis will respond with a single sloka in the Bhagavatam which ends the chapter. 

SB 10.82.48 :""O Supreme Lord, O directly manifest Supersoul, O crest jewel of teachers of philosophical knowledge!  Understanding that we have great attachment to house, wealth and family, You previously had Uddhava instruct us and now personally You are purifying our hearts with knowledge to destroy that ignorance.  Thus we understand that Your pure love for us is free from any motivation other than assuring our liberation. But how can we unintelligent cowherd women fix that knowledge in our hearts? ..[..]" translation by Srila Visvanath Chakravarti Thakur. 

This same sloka was chant by Caitanya Mahaprabhu in front of the chariot of Lord Jagannath.

This is the secret of our Ista-deva, the Lord of the Sankirtan Movement, the Lord of the Universe, fully reciprocating His devotees' love, shows the highest ecstasies in a meeting that follows a long separation and He comes to everyone to exchange that love on the wheels of His chariot.

        

DEBT of LOVE (Lyrics) ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

Krsna speaks to Rukmini about His debt of love

“Feeling separation from Me, Radha and the gopis have given up Their lives.  Now I shall also give up My life for her.  You will see me in that condition, O Lokanath” (Text 126-127)  Prema-vilas by Srila Nityananda Das.

BG 9.29 "[...] But those who honor Me with devotion are in Me, and indeed I am in them."

"Sri Radha's love for Lord Krishna has no rival and no equal in this world.  It is the greatest love."  Sri Garga Samhita 6.17-38

Read more at the bottom excerpt from Sri Krishna Kathamrita Bindu issue No. 134"

https://soundcloud.com/mauro-auaro/debt-of-love

Lyrics for "Debt of Love"

I am not here,

but there with My mind,

I am so bound

‘cause of a promise of love.

I have a debt

since the day I left

“I will return” - I said this to them

They have given everything up for Me

their love is in Me

There isn’t any other way to repay

but to love ‘ em in the same way

I am their air

for this My heart weeps

I’m in big debt

to their love, the tears they shed,

I've gone away

I did not return,

they trust what I said just before I left

my words are their hope and reason to live

they breath for me

O Queen, how they keep alive gives me pain,

they want to see me once again

You asked before

Who’s this love for?

Tears melt my dreams

When I think of Her

She does not know anything else than Me

She lives for Me

To know this love I’ve to steal Her heart

to love with her love.

I’ll give up pearls and curls, one day
love tears is my debt to repay. 

.

"With that prema they [gopis] have given up everything. [...] By their love, Krishna's promise was broken. His pormise is -'As someone approaches me I reciprocate accordingly' {Bg 4.11} Krishna never becomes indebted, He always repays his debts. But this promise of his was broken by the gopis, because the gopis do not want anything, how will he repay them?

[...] {Bhag. 10.32.22} "I have become completely indebted to you. I cannot pay you back, because you don't want anything. What shall I do?"

To pay back his debt he became Gaura, assuming the mood of Radharani is crying and feeling acute pangs of separation from Krishna. This is Gaura. [...] As Radharani is crying, crying, crying and drowning herself in this unfathomable ocean of separation, similarly Gaura is burning himself with the fire of separations from Krishna." by SGGS

Excerpted from Sri Krishna Kathamrita Bindu Issue No134

JUST A MILK-FED BOY ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

SB 10.46.22 “When we see the places where Mukunda enjoyed His sporting pastimes –the rivers, hills and forests he decorated with His feet – our minds become totally absorbed in Him.”

Inspired by HH Gour Govinda Maharaja’s class “Uddhava Sandesa”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrTMAIYeNS8

Uddhava went to Vraja and met with Nanda Baba as asked by Krishna.  Nanda Baba and all the Brajvasis are burning in the fire of separation from Krishna, so Uddhava tries to console Nanda Baba by telling him that Krishna is God, Bhagavan and is not his son.

SB 10.46.42 "The Supreme Lord Hari is certainly not your son alone. Rather, being the Lord, He is the son, Soul, father and mother of everyone."

The Canticle of Union

The Canticle of the Creatures written by St Francis in 1225 AD is an ode to theCreation in praise of the Lord as the Creator of the universe. It is poetry of bhakti where St Francis expresses his love for the Lord by revealing his perception of Him in the amazing  harmony of the universe.  This juxtaposition of the Lord of the Universe to the theme of creation in the ode, has inspired this combination between this pastime  of Lord Jagannath, His abode and activities with hints about the esotericism of creation in a wholly Vaisnava flavor.   Since Krishna, in this mood and form as Lord Jagannath - of supreme overflowing Divine Love - reveals that He is the Personality exchanging and  reciprocating the love of the devotees in whatever form they most cherish in their hearts, He is addressed as the Lord of the Universe.

SBB Vol.III 5.211 "His transcendental form, the one source of all incarnations, expands all of His various pastimes.  Whichever of His forms a devotee finds attractive, that form the Lord shows him."

  The Creation is an act of love and therefore is pervaded by His love and attraction for Radha, and expresses metaphysically Their union.  

The heart is not a shore

for the ocean of longing,

the body swayed drunk,

He could not give up

thinking of the dying swan,

of Her agony

as He once saw while she sat

on His lap; ⁽¹⁾

dazed He crossed the night

to the doorway at her bedside,

floating in waves of love,

His eyes opened wide

and full of both joy and surprise

He fainted, mesmerized ~

His love so intense,

that His limbs lignified.

A waft of scent from His cloud-like skin

awoke the Lover,

 touching Her dreams ~

Krishna Krishna!

By seeing the lotus of His face,

at once, of that burning agony

there was no trace,

Radhe Radhe!

the scented breeze roused Him,

Their eyes embraced,

and in rivers of Prem

Their union took place …

and from His mind

reflecting His desire

 it pervaded the universes

in the way all beings unite,

and just as one serves another

as trees give fruits and flowers,

similarly this mood of service

 binds together all lovers.

Union happened that night,

and when the cooing announced

that the sun would shortly rise,

the Sakhis, drumming

and plucking strings, started to sing

the canticle of this Love,

cause and true origin of everything ~

 is the attraction binding the atoms ⁽²⁾

and the variety that attracts all beings.

O languishing souls,

take up this song

chant the names,

of Radha and Shyam

reuniting in Nidhuvan;

it's all about love,

coming in waves, 

into the heart,

 opening wide 

'The Door Ajar' into Puri Dham. ⁽³⁾

^(1) Ref. Pastimes at Prema Sarovara

⁽²⁾ Sri Krishna Samhita 5.18  "In the spiritual world the ever existing attachment extends love up to mahabhava, and in the material world the reflection extends as an inconceivable material attraction that creates variegatedness." 

⁽³⁾ Gopala Campu  ^"As many petals as has a lotus so many are the doors into Vraja Dhama." 

SBB Vol III 5.212 "Eternally as dear to Sri Krsnadeva as His beautiful Mathura-   dhama is that Purusottama-kshetra.  There the Lord displays His supreme opulence and yet charms His devotees by acting like an ordinary person of the world."

~~~

The Story of the First Ratha Yatra – excerpted from the booklet on a lecture of Sri Gour Govinda Maharaja titled “Three logs of wood”.

Krishna in Dwarka feels terrible pains of separation from the Gopis and Radha.  Once He fell unconscious and Narada and Uddhava came to His aid.  Then with Balarama and Subhadra they decided, before Krishna was to regain consciousness, to prepare His chariot to ride Him to Vraja, but Subhadra went ahead in Her chariot followed by Balarama’s to inform the Brijibasis of His arrival.  Radha is on the verge of death, laying on a bed of petals in a secluded place on the banks of the Yamuna.  Krishna came back to His senses by the music of Narada and knowing in His heart the deep pains of love of Radha, intoxicated by love He could barely walk, so is put on the chariot by Uddhava and Narada. He suddenly arrived at the doorway where Radha was lying feebly breathing. He sees her and submerged by love was stunned and fainted like a piece of wood.  But the scent of Krishna reached Radha’s nostrils and Lalita whispered in Her ears : Krishna has come! 

She awoke and seeing Krishna she immediately forgot all her pains, and then Krishna was brought back to consciousness by whispering in His ears :”Radhe Radhe. They looked  in each other eyes and finally there was union.

MESSENGER OF LOVE

"Dear gentle Uddhava, go to Vraja and give pleasure to My parents.  And also relieve the gopis, suffering in separation from Me, by giving them My message." SB 10.46.3

"Krishna wanted to send a message of love to his dear devotees, His father Nanda Maharaja, His mother Yasoda-mata and the most beloved gopis headed by Radharani. Krishna thought "Who will take this message? Whom shall I send?" He chose Uddhava." Mathura meets Vrindavana pg129

The recurring visualization that inspired this poem is of Krishna feeling desperate in separation from Vraja and the Vrajavasis, and taking Uddhava's hand in His hand, speaking His heart.  He was his friend and could carry this message of love to His beloved devotees suffering from separation.  But when Uddhava returned he was not the same person, he had experienced pure love.

When His heart needed telling,

He sent a messenger of love

COME BACK TO VRAJA!

CC Madhya Lila 1.76 [Radharani said] - “My dear friend, now I have met My very old and dear friend Kṛṣṇa on this field of Kurukṣetra. I am the same Rādhārāṇī, and now We are meeting together. It is very pleasant, but still I would like to go to the bank of the Yamunā beneath the trees of the forest there. I wish to hear the vibration of His sweet flute playing the fifth note within that forest of Vṛndāvana.”

It was during a solar eclipse that Radha and the Gopis got to meet Krishna again, after long days of separation since He had left Vrindavana on Akrura's chariot to Mathura.  But now in front of their eyes they do not have the cowherd boy, covered of dust, wearing a headband and flowers amidst His curls. 

So, His turban appears to their eyes even more big and glitzy, all studded with gems, but eclipsing the image of that bluish boy, Who has stolen their hearts in the groves of Vraja and had accompanied their dreams and secret thoughts every day of their life.  

Even though the joy of seeing Him again is in no way reduced, this meeting, compared to the feeling of their rendez-vous  in Vraja, is missing some flavours. Radha and the Gopis resolute that it is because they are away from Vrindavana.  So, with the ropes of their love they put Krishna on the chariot of their hearts and pull it toward Vraja .... this is the churning emotion that moves the devotees around world during Jagannath Ratha Yatra.

Caitanya Caritamrta ML 1.82  [The Gopis thought ] "Dear Lord, if Your lotus feet again come to our home in Vrndavana, our desires will be fulfilled." - 

~~~

                                                                                                                          

In these days of eclipsed sun rays

has also the Moon lost its radiance?

Your moonlike face  

beneath this grandiose turban

full of gems    
seems shaded.

Where is the moonlight of our desires

and the flute tormenting our minds,

the mineral colors, the dust, the perspiration

that adorned the blue luster of Your skin,

the pearls and feathers swaying in the wind,

the blue flowers graciously embracing your face,

the You, that ocean in which our eyes used to bathe?

.... It is only there, under the bowers,

loitering on the sands of the Yamuna

and  always within the hearts,

of Your women in Gokula.

Now dressed in silvery veils,

recalling the stars

of the nights in Vraja,

with raised arms

to attract Your smiling glance

we’ll move in circling steps

to remind You of our dance

by the riverbank,

we'll move along on the way to Vraja

singing and waving our hands,

pulling the ropes of our Prem

to draw You back,

with trembling  skin,

with anticipation,

 of the sweetest moment

to see You,
coming down the large road

entering Vraja
at dusk,
like so many times before.

But now ~ 

nothing will ever be the same

since You might leave again.