Nitai is Balaram

The many aspects of the eccentricity of Nityananda defeat the madness of illusory existence without the Lord.  Without Balaram we will believe the uniqueness of Maya. For the mercy of Lord Nityananda we can realize the existence of the Lord in  mantras. Balarama embodies the  quality of omnipresence of the Lord.  For the grace of Lord Nityananda we receive the Mahamantra and for His grace we hear it while we chant it.  By developing infinitesimally one quality of one  mouth of Ananta Sesa, Lord Balaram, we transcend the material energy.  The intent of the creation as enacted by Lord Balaram is spiritual. Lord balarama is in constant expansion through each sound which is uttered to glorify the Lord. Whatever form re-establishes the existence of the Lord is Balaram. Lord Balaram when manifests His lila in the material world is often furious because the refusal of the Lord, present only here, is the  challenge to Him, who is the very existence of the Lord.

"The Sesa who is the adhara-sakti (supporter-power) of the bedstead of Visnu (Wielder of the Sarnga bow), is in the category of God (Visnu-tattva).

The Sesa who bears the globes is an avesa-Avatara (absorption-avatara) of Krsna (or Sankarsana), and therefore He is (also) known as Sankarsana. The bedstead feature of Sesa always considers Himself to be an eternal servitor and friend of the Lord Sarngadhara (wielder of the Sarnga bow)."Bhaktisiddhanta S. Thakur

           Nitai is Baladev         ⁽¹⁾

without chess board

but with a love load

abandoning all rules

has become an avadhut.

Balaram is the throne,

the umbrella, the flute  

Nitai is the servant of Mahaprabhu,

Nitai is Baladev and Ananta Sesa,

with thousands mouths

chants "Hari Hari" in Gaudadesha;

Nitai is Balaram

the sustainer of the worlds

catches Nimai

who in love sways and falls, ⁽²⁾

always by His sides

Nitai holds his crackedling throne. ⁽³⁾

Nitai is Baladev, unarmed

shooting love through His glance

brings the river of prem,

without a plow in His hand;

Balaram constantly, repeatedly

expands in sound

Nitai graces all entities

with the Great Mantra

and the abilitity to hear it

as the Paramatma.

Balaram is Nitai, 

who carries a staff

His clothes are blue

wears one earring

and has become an avadhut.

Balaram has the gait of an elephant

reveals force and power

but Nitai, with the soft feet of a dancer 

intoxicated by sweetness, meanders;

Nitai is Balaram causing an ocean to rise

the heart cannot stop to dance and to cry

leaving the ego and the pride

to drown and die.

Nitai is Balaram the upholder of rules

but now is an avadhut.

1         1)    CC Adi 5.6 "That original Lord Kṛṣṇa appeared in Navadvīpa as Lord                       Caitanya, and Balarāma appeared with Him as Lord Nityānanda."

2)    ”As the powerful Nityananda caught hold of the Lord, Advaita secretly took the dust from the Lord’s feet.”  Caitanya Bhagavata MK 8.143

3)    “He (Caitanya) sat down upon Vishnu’s throne.  The seat crakled under His weight.  Nityananda quickly rushed to hold up.” Caitanya Bhagavata MK 8.283

CRUEL WHEELS

krūra krūreti cakrūram

Calling out "Cruel Cruel!" they jeered Akrura.

Sri Lalita Madhava - Distraught Radha: - "Become conscious for a moment and look.  What misfortune! Merciless Akrura urges on the horses."

When you go to Gokula it is possible that someone tells you this story ....

I was there,

with sleepless eyes,

could not hold back the sun

so not to rise,

when the tearful whispers

of the night became cries

but I could hear no sound

since my heart lamented

more loud,

but the cruel voice

amid my numbness, rose

                              in an averse prayer    ⁽¹⁾                  

when it urged the horse

to move on,

I swooned,

my bangles, dress, rings

like petals of a withering flower,

loosened and slipped

I was there,

distraught,

that day at dawn

yet I saw not the horizon

but the hooves, the ground

the rims, the spokes of the wheels,

cruelly ready to leave,

my hand outstretched, desperate

to grasp, to pull back, to halt,

...once more ~ to touch...

for I had not enough

of His fragrant embraces

nor of His dancing hips

or His Tulsi-scented chest

and of His tempting hands,

nor of His camphored breath,

nor my eyes had enough

of the piercing love of His glance,

of the sweat streaks

on His sandal-smeared skin,

nor of the sweetness

of His cherry red lips,

nor of His impudent words and tricks

no, no,  I had not enough

of the hidden groves, the secret trysts

            the nights of moon-glow...       ⁽²⁾

but suddenly I was there,

calling out behind His wheels,

the stones, the trees, melted 

flowed with my tears in streams

I slumped in the dust

holding  my unfinished wreath,

fated to never adorn Him.

I was there, stunned,

the cruel wheels started,

distance became unbearably true

I saw the flag, His silhouette    ⁽³⁾

fading in a fog of dust

           "I'll return"           ⁽⁴⁾

resounded as the last note 

from His flute

and still echoes

in my heart, in the groves,

in the eyes I meet on the roads,

it's the only rope of hope

for this

I still unashamedly breathe.

1) SLM (Purnamasi) "... before Akrura mounts his chariot and begins chants auspicious prayers for departure.."

2) Laghu B. Txt 508, 511-512 "Though astonishing Gokula, the essence of Mathura, seems like a limited area, it expands and contracts according to the pastimes of Krsna."

"According to the particular pastimes there is a suitable appearance of various places which can be seen by those participating in the particular pastime and not by the unqualified."

"It is astonishing that at one time these forms of the abodes exist factually without mixing with each other at all."

When Krishna leaves, Vrindavana expands into the separation of Navadvip and later into the ecstasy of meeting after long separation of Kshetra Dham, because there is no meaning to separation in love if it is not followed by meeting, union and separation and in this way the waves of love flow to never ebb, and swell again and again thus increasing eternally.

3) SGS 5.4.37 "As long as the chariot, its flag, or the cloud of dust the running horses made could be seen, the stunned gopis stood like painted pictures on the path.  Then, remembering Lord Krsna's words, they became hopeful."

4) SGS 5.4.35 "Girls, don't cry.  At sunset I will return."

IF...

Visnu Purana "One gopi looking at Govinda became extremely joyful and began to repeatedly sing His name "Krsna! Krsna! Krsna!"  She could say nothing else."

This poem was inspired by the power of chanting for transforming the heart, but also to  suggest the need to be active in this process where many micro-results, like the stages of a ripening fruit,have to be achieved in order to steadily adding mature insights to our surrender. 

Caitanya Bhagavata M.L. 28.27 "You all go now, utter the name of Krishna, chant the name of Krishna, do krsna-bhajana.   Don't think of anything else but Krishna."

  

If I do not call out to you

Krishna, Krishna, Krishna,

how could I stop listening

the whispers

      of the weaknesses of my heart?   ⁽¹⁾

while my deluded mind

repeats deceitfully

 "you are just fine".

If I do not cry for You

Krishna, Krishna, Krishna,

feeling helpless,

how could  I place in your hands

                  my days ?               (2)

       and increase my faith     

perceiving Your benevolence

in events and people

fostering Your aid.

If I, within myself,

do not continue chanting

Krishna, Krishna, Krishna,

how could I carry my heart

to the tender of Bhakti?

        while the iron boat of conceit     (3)
sinks into the eerie abyss
of treacherous hedonists ,

where I was again tricked.

If my whole being does not resonate

Krishna, Krishna, Krishna,

how could you, in my heart,

awake me to the emotion

so to accept the truths

about my soul, the creation and You?

         I would have no memory of         ⁽⁴⁾

nor could I make of them any use.

But if my tongue calls

Krishna, Krishna, Krishna,

without your name

resounding in my soul,

it would not desist

from useless talks, 

the Ego's soliloquy

the invective words,

how then could it dance free

to the sweetness of the songs

about your names and forms?

1) There are four kinds of Anartha (Vani Vaibhava of BVThakur) : 1) identifying the body with the self 2) thirst for material enjoyment 3) offensiveness 4) weakness of the heart.

Anarthas produced from weakness of heart.

1) laziness 2) subordination to insignificant objects; 3) bewilderment of heart due to lamentation; 4) distraction from pure devotional service due to false argument; 5) miserliness in offering all one's energy to the cultivation of Krishna consciousness; 6) rejection of humility due to the pride of caste, wealth, education, followers, beauty, and strength; 7) willingness to be misguided by irreligious propensities and instructions; 8) disinterest in rectifying prejudice; 9) abandonment of compassion due to anger, illusion, envy; 10) intolerance; 11) false identification of the self as a Vaisnava due to the desire for name, fame, and the cheating propensity; 12) and the torture of other living entities that arises from the desire to enjoy women, wealth and other forms of sense gratification.

2) Skanda Purana "If a person rises in the morning and chants 'Krishna, Krishna', I shall bestow all welfare upon him." 

When faith become deep (first tender then firm) transforms into steadiness (nishta), taste (ruci), attachment (rati or asakti) and bhava.

3)  ".....boarding a stone boat, and so too are those who blindly follow them. A stone boat would be unable to float and would sink in the water with its passengers. Similarly, those who mislead people go to hell, and their followers go with them. " - Srimad Bhagavatam, Purport, 6.7.14

4) Prema Bhakti-chandrika "Dhyana is another word for smarana "                                     

FACING the UNWANTED

GB 1.46 "Speaking in this manner, Arjuna, giving up his bow and arrow, his mind disturbed with lamentation, sat down on his chariot amidst the conflict."

This poetry expresses the feelings and realizations of being  one " Arjuna"  who after hearing the Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam (for many years) still is looking at his toes in ignorance. Then someone, a wise seer, speaking to my heart, unveiled the path from where I got stuck, infused me the faith in the scripture, in the process of bhakti, so to rise and combat.

"Facing the unwanted" is the time of introspection when the "unwanted" - the egotistical aspects of the ego - are recognized as the stumbling blocks to firm faith and to steadiness on the path of bhakti.

SD 3.25.33 "Bhakti, devotional service, dissolve the subtle body of the living entity without separate effort, just as fire in the stomach digests all that we eat."

My chariot has stopped

after jolting to and fro,

and I'm aware only of my toes

soaked in tears,

as I sit looking down

as if no sound is around,

and for so long not knowing

where I am.

My chariot has stopped

and with deep sorrow,

my head hanging down,

I sit with pity without piety,

surrounded by a throbbing silence

caused by the emptiness of my heart,

lamenting, unable to look up,  ⁽¹⁾

confused and oblivious to everyone.

Then a hand, a touch,

a benevolent voice,

calls forth 'the Arjuna'

ready to combat,

infuses in me the force

     with care and wise words   ⁽²⁾

to perceive how my chariot

got stuck,

by cumulated layers, life after life

        of unwanted results,     ⁽³⁾

to see that Krishna is in front,

ready to lead,

personal,

with qualities and shining limbs,

friend, well-wisher, eager

for a loving relationship,

and that between two forces,  ⁽⁴⁾

only by mercy, bhakti will appear

like a moon from an eclipse

dissolving the unfavorable duality. ⁽⁵⁾

My chariot has halted

but now I stand up,

without duplicity and ado  ⁽⁶⁾

assessing my heart

start my chariot anew.

1) SD 2.9.34 "One should understand my maya by whose power real objects are perceived through vidya and false objects are perceived through avidya, in relation to the self ..."

Pity for oneself, confusion and lamentation are expansions of the maya sakti through the function of avidya and are perceived as existent by the conditioned soul in ignorance (without piety or sattva).

2) Under the care, benevolence and guidance of guru.

3) "Unwanted results" is the literal translation of  anarthas.  SB 4.29.37 Purport  "Saṁsṛti, or material existence, begins with the illusioned bodily conception of life, and on the basis of this conception there ensues a series of unwanted things (anarthas). These unwanted things are actually mental desires for various types of sense gratification. In this way one accepts different types of bodies within this material world." 

4) Vidya and Avidya which were present in Kurukshetra as the two confronting armies : Yudisthira's  and Duryodhana's respectively. Bhakti is independent from the two and appears only by grace of Krishna, Bhakti-devi and pure bhakta.

5) Maya-sakti involves two functions and one is unfavorable to the jiva (avidya) and the other is favorable for liberation through knowledge (vidya).  Bhakti dissolves both being two aspects of the material energy because the Lord cannot be realized by sattva : SB11.14.21 "I am achieved by bhakti only".

6) Facing the unwanted starts by being truthful firstly to oneself.

WARRIOR for LOVE

SB 1.15.5  "Arjuna said : O King! The Supreme Personality of Godhead Hari, who treated me exactly like an intimate friend, has left me alone.  Thus my astounding power, which astonished even the demigods, is no longer with me."

 

Arjun remembering Krishna after
His departure

When Krishna decides to leave the planet, Arjuna  is left deeply aggrieved by a sentiment of separation.  Coming back from Dvaraka he speaks to Yudhisthira the pains of his heart now that his dearest friend has left.  Krishna has always enhanced the glories of his devotee and friend and now Arjuna reveals how Krishna was glorious in causing and facilitating all his victories, as he had not that power and ability without his friendship.

Four principles of friendship - 1) Trust; 2) knowledge about the friend; 3) to concede, ability to give out one's opinions and position to comply with friend's; 4) Opening one's heart are imbued in this poetry,as Arjuna speaks about his friendship with Krishna so that one can be inspired in cultivating the devotional service's anga -to become friend with Krishna - in the most personal and desirable way that Krishna appreciates and enjoys.

This is independently of the eternal sakhya-rasa, because friendship is developed during sadhana bhakti is based on respect.

The beauty of this passage in the Bhagavatam is the unveiling of the sakhya rasa of Arjuna in a time of separation revealing all the depth of his loving relationship with Krishna, which in Bhagavad Gita is presented veiled by the dasya mood.

WHERE IS SHYAM ?

Sri Lalita Madhava pg42 ~ "My dear friend, where is Krsna, who is like the moon rising from the ocean of Maharaja Nanda's dynasty? Where is Krsna, His head decorated with a peacock feather?  Where is He?  Where is Krishna whose flute produces such a deep sound? [...] Kindly tell me where to find Krsna the treausre of My life and best of My friends.  Feeling separation from Him, I hereby condemn Providence, the shaper of My destiny."

This poem was inspired by an encounter I had in Vraja many many years ago.  It was in the morning and I was walking down a narrow, dirt path when a man dressed only in a loin cloth, very thin and with his skin darkened by the sun, came towards me.  He looked at me without seeing me and was murmuring "Where is Shyam?".

Then suddenly aware of my presence when I was right in front of him he said very loudly but with a choked voice "Where is Shyam?". I said "I do not know" and he became more agitated and in despair repeated several times with an anxious tone in his voice "Where is Shyam, where is Shyam?" Then I answered "I cannot see, I do not see where is He".

I have never forgotten those eyes, that voice, that forlorn heart, that morning light in Vraja ....

No parrot, bird or cuckoo warbles

to awake this dawn,

this daybreak light in Vraja

feebly kisses

the nocturnal pout of the flowers

reluctant now to bloom,

no feet has trampled over them

no pollen hovers the air

no swarm of excited bees

have buzzed after

the honey of His running feet,

forlorn the heart repeats

where is Shyam?

Is this the same wind

that ruffled the curls,

shivered the skin,

that swayed His feather,

and His earrings ?

Stole the scent of the rainy cloud

from His limbs,

and blew words of love

written on kumkum dusted leaves ?

Is this the same wind?

Carrier now of sighs

and a sole pitiful cry ~

where is Shyam?

Will there still be the moon?

with the stars for limbs

and its nectar-like beams

trickling flickering drops

on Radha's petal-like skin ?

Drops which capture her glow

and turn into moonstones

just as raindrops fall

in seashells

and turn into pearls,

but He has left ~

nothing shines now,

neither the moon nor the gems,

the stars nor the sun,

as a pair of unseeing eyes ask ~

Where is Shyam?

Behind the wheels

fell the dust

with the deafening silence

of His absence.

Now will come no dusk

carrying the notes of flutesongs

in clouds of dust.

The love talks,

the sweet words, the poetry,

the laughs ~ all have sunk

into the stillness of time.

The lanes of Vraja

have no more destinations,

the heart, errant of love, pleads

where is Shyam?

“Ve-ry-soon-I-wi-ll-ret-urn”

the syllables of Shyam's promise

barely reach the Gopis' lips

have become their heartbeats,

their only reason to live.