With eyes bereft of mercy,
all they see
is a crowded
road
of
bustling humanity,
loud and rough
and cloaked
with smoke,
mud and dust;
but alongside
the road there
runs a wall,
unseen and
veiled by the mold;
if only the
lotus
of the heart
unfolds,
the shouting,
the clattering,
and the
erratic to and fro
will vanish
like a fog,
as it is taken into flight
on one wing of
the heart
through that
arched threshold
to the vision
that it holds;
An emerald garden,
wherein shines
a temple
of sapphires
and gold
and diamond
inlaid walls,
resplendent
like a lotus
with a golden
whorl,
that blooms
under a vault
trimmed with
strands of pearls.
There saints
sing and dance,
shrouded in
moonbeams,
with glinting
tilak on their foreheads,
and rapt in
rays of bliss
hold up a
palanquin made of gems;
Yet this scene
remains unseen
if doubts
don't leave,
but abide in
my heart
- so deeply.
I'm here,
unable to step in
to this garden
of blossoming devotion,
nor can I
perceive
the crowd of
saints in this place,
or hear in
their midst,
of Nimai’s
dream,
of the coming
of Balaram's chariot
bedecked with
a palm tree,
and neither
can I see
this clear
lake of Vraja,
these
brilliant groves,
the kund of
Radha,
and the
myriads of cooing birds
chanting the
glories of Nimai.
I cannot hear! I cannot see!
Now my heart
weeps,
O Nityananda
Ram!
Please let me
see the Dham,
open my inner
eye
with Your
wealth of Love.
The place called Nandana Acharya's House in
Mayapur is just a couple of hundred
meters from the Chandrodaya Mandir on the left side going towards the Jalangi
River.
This is the place where Lord Caitanya and Lord
Nityananda met for the first time. The
following is excerpted from Gauradesa
pg 77 -[Transcendental Island of ] Antardvipa :
“Caitanya
Mahaprabhu had already told the
devotees that a great personality would arrive in Mayapur very soon and the
Vaisnava community was excited in anticipation.Then gathering all His
associates together, Gaurasundara told them of a dream He had the previous
night. He dreamt that Lord Balarama arrived on a chariot and asked Caitanya
Mahaprabhu many times “Is this the house of Nimai Pandita?” When Lord Caitanya
replied, Balaram said “I am Your brother and we shall meet tomorrow.” Caitanya
Mahaprabhu then asked Srivasa Pandita and Haridasa Thakura to go out and find
this personality but they returned three hours later without any success.
Gouranga Mahaprabhu laughed, “Come with Me,” He said and took the jubilant
devotees directly to Nandanacarya’s
house.
Ecstasy overwhelmed the two eternal brothers as They
beheld each other’s divine forms for the first time. Lord Caitanya embraced
Lord Nityananda and tears cascaded down Their faces as the two Lords swayed in
each other’s arms. They became unsteady in spiritual agitation and rolled on
the ground, their bodies trembling in ecstasy.” excerpted from Gauradesa pg 77 Isodyana – Antardvipa
Nandana Acharya's house
is the place where Lord Caitanya revealed the personality of Lord Nityananda. There
is an esoteric message in this pastime and that is that only Lord Caitanya can
reveal the personality of Lord Nityananda - only by His mercy can one find Lord
Nityananda.
CB
MK 3.170 "In this incarnation Lord Nityananda
is most confidential. One can see Him only when Lord Caitanya reveals
Him."
There is more to unfold in this story
I am narrating ...
The pastime that took place at
Nandanacharya's House was often in my mind, so whenever I was in Mayapur, in
the time that it took to get one or two rounds done, I would frequently walk
those few hundred meters down the crowded and boisterous road then along the
unassuming and somewhat silent wall up to the gate of Nandanacharya Bhavan. There
I would look at the depictions on the inside of the wall and revisit the story
of the meeting between Gaura and Nitai.
I had jotted down a few stanzas on
these inner excursions to Nandanacharya's House and to further pluck my poetic
chords with more inspiration and enrich my visualization of the place, I
started to search for more references.
From the Gauradesa book I found the reference to the Navadvipa Bhava Taranga of Srila
Bhaktivinoda Thakur. In this book he reveals each place in Mayapur as a
place of pastime in Vrindavana and this was very inspiring for my research on
Nandanacharya's place. The following is an excerpt about the area where
Nandanacharya's house is situated:
“In the
southern portion of Mayapur, on the bank of the river Ganga and very near its
junction with the river Sarasvati, is the extensive grove called Isodyana (The Lord’s Garden). May that Garden be the
place of my eternal devotions. In this Garden, my Lord Sri Saci-nandana performed midday
pastimes along with His devotees. Seeing
the brilliance of this grove, I shall be reminded of Radha Kunda in Braja. May
all these areas be eternally visible to my eyes. Huge trees and dark vines appear very dense. Among the foliage are
various types of birds singing the transcendental glories of Lord Gaura. There
is a large lake and an extremely opulent temple glowing with pure gold inlaid
with diamonds as well as blue and yellow sapphires. The materialists, with
their eyes bewildered by the illusions of material sense perception, and who
are envious of the Lord, can never see these groves. Rather, they see only a small piece of land
covered with thorns, periodically thrown into utter disruption by the forceful
flooding of the river.” Navadvipa
Bhava Taranga Text 26-29
My first realization was - Since I do see with
"eyes bewildered by the illusions of material sense perception" ...I..."can
never see these groves." It was a fact that I only saw the dusty, smelly,
noisy, messy road ...
However now the place I was trying to walk into had a
name - Isodhyana - the Lord's Garden, and I could add so many elements to my
visualization whenever I went to Nandanacharya's House. The lakes, the
brilliance of the grove, the inlaid walls with diamonds, but also Caitanya, the
chariot with the palm tree flag, the dream ...
So I would leave behind the clattering and the
vociferous crowd by going through the gate of the Lord's Garden, and
taking a leap therein on the wings of the heart. But I needed to word that
single emotion which glued together all those different moods and visions of
that place, and all this in blindness, due to my inability to see that reality
of the Lord's abode.
Krishna is Caitanya, Caitanya is Krishna. Caitanya lila and Krishna Lila are
non-different, there is continuity and intertwining of events and personalities.
This hidden garden was releasing nectarean eye-drops to perceive the two lilas
happening simultaneously, but still my inner eye was shut to this wonder of the
soul.
So for long time I remained stuck with my poem, but I kept recalling Srila Bhaktivinoda
Thakur's realizations and vision and to walk into the Lord's Garden with
anticipation in the heart.
In the meantime I found a sloka which
I felt was important and meaningful to this inner search for emotions and words
to express them, by taking these lilas into the heart and seeing the reality of
the two abodes at once :
“Thus
although Krishna, His associates, and His abode are seen in various forms in
different places and in dreams and other special states of consciousness, they
are always real.”-Sri Brhad Bhagavatamrta Vol. II 4.161-162
There were so many
elements to take into my vision that were beyond the illusory reality of my
doubts and the subtleness of enviousness, as Sri Bhaktivinod Thakur had explained.
I was in Mayapur and my
file on Isodyana was always open on my desktop.
After class I used to
meet with a friend for some exciting Krishna Katha, just one hour or so every
day and after we would part for our respective engagements.
One morning she came and
was very excited because she had had a dream - this is in her own words:
“A voice said that it’s impossible to see the Dham with
these eyes, you need a different set of eyes. I knew it was more than a dream. In this dream I
saw something bombastic, the experience is indescribable. The awe and beauty I
felt was way beyond this worldly experience. One such impression was the
dazzling pearls lined up at a distance, the walls and doors were probably made
from diamonds although I cannot fathom how diamond walls can exist. I was
flying through the gates which had
no doors but changed their form
of architecture each time I entered the zone. I came to the conclusion that
only God can make this with His own intelligence.
The beauty I marveled at was
bewildering to me as I had never even dreamt something like this could exist. I
was in such wonder that I did not even have time to think if I was dreaming or
not. This experience was as if the Lord took me by hand to show a glimpse of a drop
of His magnificent creation, a creation probably meant only for his dear and
intimate devotees, a place where those without any doubts can enter.
For the demons of doubt exist
only on this plane.There is no entry into the spiritual realm for those with
petty doubts in their heads.
Even saints and sages were out of
my sight, maybe they were busy in the indoors lifting the palanquin of the Lord
decorated with pearls and rubies. All I saw were faces with tilak marks
dazzling on their foreheads.”
I could not believe my ears, I was so astonished I cried in great
joy - “It is Isodyana! It is there that I am walking into in my poem, and now you
have walked into it in your dream”.
I was dancing in my heart - all the elements were there - the
chariot was a palanquin, the holy devotees were there, the resplendence, the
gems, the doorway between the illusory reality and the state of consciousness,
the flying to pass through it, the Lord's voice revealing the inner vision.
Now the door was finally ajar to glimpse that sacred abode through
a dream and into a state of consciousness ....
The poem enters into the visualization of the abode of the Lord (or
the place) through the state of consciousness of Bhaktivinod Thakur and the
dream revealed to me by my Vaisnavi friend.
So, the sloka brings
these three together in the one visualization of the same reality.
