TOKEN of LOVE

SD 1.3.34 Comm. "He [Lord Krishna] thinks  'Let this jiva see me'.  If the merciful desire of the Lord arises, then he acts in this way."

I was seen ~

for a minute fraction of time,

in less than an instant

I felt stripped,

the talkative thoughts of my mind

were choked,

for in that single moment,

the blind obscuring my soul

dropped,

and time, as I usually perceive,

was not,

the walls, the shadows,

a labyrinth of beliefs

about "me",

just stopped,

and knots known

to be binding my heart

were dissolved.

I was seen ~

then skies of emotions

distilled in one drop of time,

just like the heart

condenses

the immensity of love

in one tear,

and I felt intensely loved,

I was seen ~

there was light

meant not for the eyes

but for my heart.

When that dot of time had elapsed,

I became greedy,

and I wept,

for one more

token of love.

The Song of Pingala

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_
continue=54&v=NMrRzDJ3Wuc

Uddhava Gita 2.28 "Now please hear from me the song sung by [Pingala] the prostitute ..."

Pingala is a prostitute.  This might rise the query from the reader how one can gain by hearing a poetry describing the greed and miserable life of a prostitute, but 

Pingala's story is told by Lord Krishna to Uddhava and sastra so instruct about this type of narration : Itihasa-samucchaya [SD 3.5.12 Comm.]  "What result can be attained by describing the lust of lusty men and the greed of greedy men, except to sent them into the darkness of a well? In the Mahabharata, lust and greed are described to purify people's hearts, and are moreover condemned by stories with pure meaning.  Otherwise, why would the most merciful and learned Vyasa describe lust and greed, the cause of bondage to terrible material existence?"

Pingala's is just one of the sixteen stories that an avadhuta brahmana told to King Yadu. Every story is a lesson about material life and Krishna retells the whole narration to Uddhava ~ in the section of the Bhagavatam (11th Canto) called "Uddhava Gita" ~ during His final instructions before closing up His pastimes on Earth.  Therefore so auspicious and beneficial is hearing and learning from this story.

FACING the UNWANTED

GB 1.46 "Speaking in this manner, Arjuna, giving up his bow and arrow, his mind disturbed with lamentation, sat down on his chariot amidst the conflict."

This poetry expresses the feelings and realizations of being  one " Arjuna"  who after hearing the Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam (for many years) still is looking at his toes in ignorance. Then someone, a wise seer, speaking to my heart, unveiled the path from where I got stuck, infused me the faith in the scripture, in the process of bhakti, so to rise and combat.

"Facing the unwanted" is the time of introspection when the "unwanted" - the egotistical aspects of the ego - are recognized as the stumbling blocks to firm faith and to steadiness on the path of bhakti.

SD 3.25.33 "Bhakti, devotional service, dissolve the subtle body of the living entity without separate effort, just as fire in the stomach digests all that we eat."

My chariot has stopped

after jolting to and fro,

and I'm aware only of my toes

soaked in tears,

as I sit looking down

as if no sound is around,

and for so long not knowing

where I am.

My chariot has stopped

and with deep sorrow,

my head hanging down,

I sit with pity without piety,

surrounded by a throbbing silence

caused by the emptiness of my heart,

lamenting, unable to look up,  ⁽¹⁾

confused and oblivious to everyone.

Then a hand, a touch,

a benevolent voice,

calls forth 'the Arjuna'

ready to combat,

infuses in me the force

     with care and wise words   ⁽²⁾

to perceive how my chariot

got stuck,

by cumulated layers, life after life

        of unwanted results,     ⁽³⁾

to see that Krishna is in front,

ready to lead,

personal,

with qualities and shining limbs,

friend, well-wisher, eager

for a loving relationship,

and that between two forces,  ⁽⁴⁾

only by mercy, bhakti will appear

like a moon from an eclipse

dissolving the unfavorable duality. ⁽⁵⁾

My chariot has halted

but now I stand up,

without duplicity and ado  ⁽⁶⁾

assessing my heart

start my chariot anew.

1) SD 2.9.34 "One should understand my maya by whose power real objects are perceived through vidya and false objects are perceived through avidya, in relation to the self ..."

Pity for oneself, confusion and lamentation are expansions of the maya sakti through the function of avidya and are perceived as existent by the conditioned soul in ignorance (without piety or sattva).

2) Under the care, benevolence and guidance of guru.

3) "Unwanted results" is the literal translation of  anarthas.  SB 4.29.37 Purport  "Saṁsṛti, or material existence, begins with the illusioned bodily conception of life, and on the basis of this conception there ensues a series of unwanted things (anarthas). These unwanted things are actually mental desires for various types of sense gratification. In this way one accepts different types of bodies within this material world." 

4) Vidya and Avidya which were present in Kurukshetra as the two confronting armies : Yudisthira's  and Duryodhana's respectively. Bhakti is independent from the two and appears only by grace of Krishna, Bhakti-devi and pure bhakta.

5) Maya-sakti involves two functions and one is unfavorable to the jiva (avidya) and the other is favorable for liberation through knowledge (vidya).  Bhakti dissolves both being two aspects of the material energy because the Lord cannot be realized by sattva : SB11.14.21 "I am achieved by bhakti only".

6) Facing the unwanted starts by being truthful firstly to oneself.

In the Sound of a Breath

KS Anu 157 :  "The Supreme Lord beyond the gunas, without fault, the original creator, having many forms, becomes one again and rests."  Sri Madhavacharya

Stavavali pg 223 - Txt 91 : "I pray that Lord Krishna, who also places His lotus feet on the hoods of Ananta Sesa, will permit me to reside in His land of Vraja."

Nothing other than LOVE

Sri Sri Prema Samput p. 52    "Only to increase the love of my devotees for me, do I bestow hardship upon them and in so doing incur my own sorrow, yet I welcome that distress."

Sri Sri Prema Samput p.48 "He is not lacking anything. What do the living entities have to give Him other than their love?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=56&v=-h_9ixUreNI

In the imaginary scene of the poem Krishna is speaking confidentially to a friend sometime after Kurukshetra, in a mixture of reminiscences and emotions,  from Dwarka, to the rasa dance, to the meeting in Kurukshetra.  In doing so Krishna reveals the secret depths of his love. Krishna never puts his devotees through something which He does not take also upon Himself.

SD 32.21 "Even when I removed Myself from your sight by suddenly disappearing, I never stopped loving you."

GC 23.39 "O dearest Gopis!  The first separation has been most difficult for me."

My solitude nestled

in the recesses of the night,

and like shadows that come forth

with brighter light,

its agony too appeared,

by moonlit memories

of their love for Me.

With the ardent desire

for a tidal wave

of this ocean of their love and my love,

to flood the hearts and the stars,

I disappeared,

causing their lamentation,

and thirstily I drank from the same                               ⁽¹⁾

chalice of longing emotions

welling up from purest love.

Spying unseen

upon their absorption and tribulation

while they searched for Me,

with breathless glances,

in incessant meditation

unwavering, on Me only,

I also endured separation,                                     ⁽²⁾

and could wait no more

for their embraces                                        ⁽³⁾

as the tears of love,

furrowing their faces,

were gushing like ecstatic rivers

of their sweetest love.

And impatient,                   

covetous of the mellows

flourishing in their hearts,

in that innermost hollow I stood,

a restless spectator of their total love,

incapable of repaying

the wealth of devotion

of my most beloveds.

In the most famous and also infamous                          ⁽⁴⁾

state of Godhood of being self-satisfied,

no one could fathom why I cried,

why my heart sighed,

breathless from feeling separation,

dragged and dependent on

their selfless adoration.

I smiled anew

to soothe their hearts,

and hiding my anguish,

asked for forgiveness.

They offered their fragrant ghee of love,                          ⁽⁵⁾

and the dense honey

of sulkiness,

thus plundering my love,

so that I, delighted, sold myself.                                    ⁽⁶⁾

1) GC 23.46 "Bhakti to me produces nectar".

2) Sri Sri Prema Samput pg.50 "He is also filled with sadness as he remains hidden from his devotees, [...] on top of that he then has to tolerate the slander that he is indifferent to those who love him."

3) GB 12.7 Comm. "Not after a long time, but very quickly, since I am not able to bear delay in meeting them, I, putting them on the shoulders of Garuda, bring them to My dhama."

4) SD 82.44 Comm. "But my dear girlfriend - Krishna replied - if this is true, I must be God, but still I am conquered by your love and devotion."

Godhood is also infamous to Krishna because in His qualities as the Absolute (Controller, Self-satisfied etc) which are revered but also commonly misunderstood, His sweetness and eagerness to love as Nanda Kishor is thwarted.

5) AVC Pg.279 (Rasa Dance Begins) "He (Krishna) wanted to create unity among the opposing parties of Radha and Candravali."

6) KS Anu 170 "I have come now.  Please experience me directly at every moment."