CRUEL WHEELS

krūra krūreti cakrūram

Calling out "Cruel Cruel!" they jeered Akrura.

Sri Lalita Madhava - Distraught Radha: - "Become conscious for a moment and look.  What misfortune! Merciless Akrura urges on the horses."

When you go to Gokula it is possible that someone tells you this story ....

I was there,

with sleepless eyes,

could not hold back the sun

so not to rise,

when the tearful whispers

of the night became cries

but I could hear no sound

since my heart lamented

more loud,

but the cruel voice

amid my numbness, rose

                              in an averse prayer    ⁽¹⁾                  

when it urged the horse

to move on,

I swooned,

my bangles, dress, rings

like petals of a withering flower,

loosened and slipped

I was there,

distraught,

that day at dawn

yet I saw not the horizon

but the hooves, the ground

the rims, the spokes of the wheels,

cruelly ready to leave,

my hand outstretched, desperate

to grasp, to pull back, to halt,

...once more ~ to touch...

for I had not enough

of His fragrant embraces

nor of His dancing hips

or His Tulsi-scented chest

and of His tempting hands,

nor of His camphored breath,

nor my eyes had enough

of the piercing love of His glance,

of the sweat streaks

on His sandal-smeared skin,

nor of the sweetness

of His cherry red lips,

nor of His impudent words and tricks

no, no,  I had not enough

of the hidden groves, the secret trysts

            the nights of moon-glow...       ⁽²⁾

but suddenly I was there,

calling out behind His wheels,

the stones, the trees, melted 

flowed with my tears in streams

I slumped in the dust

holding  my unfinished wreath,

fated to never adorn Him.

I was there, stunned,

the cruel wheels started,

distance became unbearably true

I saw the flag, His silhouette    ⁽³⁾

fading in a fog of dust

           "I'll return"           ⁽⁴⁾

resounded as the last note 

from His flute

and still echoes

in my heart, in the groves,

in the eyes I meet on the roads,

it's the only rope of hope

for this

I still unashamedly breathe.

1) SLM (Purnamasi) "... before Akrura mounts his chariot and begins chants auspicious prayers for departure.."

2) Laghu B. Txt 508, 511-512 "Though astonishing Gokula, the essence of Mathura, seems like a limited area, it expands and contracts according to the pastimes of Krsna."

"According to the particular pastimes there is a suitable appearance of various places which can be seen by those participating in the particular pastime and not by the unqualified."

"It is astonishing that at one time these forms of the abodes exist factually without mixing with each other at all."

When Krishna leaves, Vrindavana expands into the separation of Navadvip and later into the ecstasy of meeting after long separation of Kshetra Dham, because there is no meaning to separation in love if it is not followed by meeting, union and separation and in this way the waves of love flow to never ebb, and swell again and again thus increasing eternally.

3) SGS 5.4.37 "As long as the chariot, its flag, or the cloud of dust the running horses made could be seen, the stunned gopis stood like painted pictures on the path.  Then, remembering Lord Krsna's words, they became hopeful."

4) SGS 5.4.35 "Girls, don't cry.  At sunset I will return."