Sleepless Night

Gopala Campu  33.17  "But how can I give up the cowsheds, the forest, the cows. the people of Vraja,my servants, my friends, my gopis, my father and mother and Radha?  Without me, they cannot remain sane for a moment.  Thinking of them, I will be completely burned up as if there were a fire within me."

"My heart is filled with anguish that burns like a host of fiery torches.   I lay down to sleep, but I could not sleep a wink.  It is only with great difficulty that somehow I have survived this night." Sri Lalita Madhava. 

"During the day Krishna's mind was preoccupied with many things, but at night, as He lay beside Balarama in Their bullock cart, His mind was filled only with thoughts of His father and friends.

How would He tell them that He would be staying in Mathura? How would He convince them to return to Vraja? If they did return, how would He and they remain alive, separated from one another?"  NVM p.278

On the day Krishna killed Kamsa, He realized that was not the end of His adventures away from Vraja, He could not go back.

That night Krishna went to sleep in the bullock cart with Balarama, at the edge of the forest on the outskirts of Mathura. Even in this familiar setting, his heart was troubled because the next day He would have to tell Nanda Baba and His friends that He had to stay in Mathura and could not go back with them to Vraja. The events of those last few days in Mathura came into His mind churning His emotions into pangs of love. He remembered also the words of Narada that foretold His long absence from Vraja.  What a sharp pain to His heart thinking of Their future in separation!  

Sleepless night

In the backwoods

with no sound around,

familiar feelings arise

and the turmoil of the heart

echoes loud,

lying in the bullock cart
in the stillness of the dark

many thoughts crowd

back to the day when He had come;

    The words the laundryman spoke    (1)

resounded from a time remote,

his malevolent grin

 swiftly erased

by the touch of His fingertips;

     then the weaver from the past   (2)

desirous to dress Him up,

and the florist with the softest buds  (3)

offering his loving service,

asking for nothing else;

But the feelings that churn

this night into a blend of flavoured remembrances

are the grimaces of grief,

the cries of friends and relatives 

and praises from ladies’ voices  (4)

 He had never heard before,

 how they distracted His mind 

recalling the gopis’ love,

~ its spell...

so that for just one instant, He almost fell,

but was brought back to His senses

by an outcry, far beyond the fences

 as Nanda Baba's love erupted 
"Oh my son!"
~ so intense!

 At once He killed

the wrestler, and then the demon king,

dragging him by the hair

all around for everyone to see,  (5)

for the wrong he did

to the doe-eyed maid

with aguru scented hair.

So, now, how to tell

 father and friends

that He is not going back?

A morrow of sorrow

lurks in His heart,

He feels the burning

        Narada once foretold:    (6)

 many events

would avert His return
for a long time,

and Vraja would turn

into a desert of oases without hope

for those He loves.

They will not live, nor breathe,

the gopis will hardly eat,

Baba will not even drink,

Mother will only sigh,

and what about Him…

alone, far from Vraja and Radha…

from the amorous moonlights,

the forest, the cows,

the river at twilight,

how many nights will come to pass

like this one!...

when due to love, sleep is lost,

since for pain or for pleasure alike

the heart weeps or delights

 in sleepless nights.

((   1)   From NVM p.235  “Krishna at once recognized the washerman as the same unfortunate soul who criticized Lord Ramachandra for having accepted Sita after she had “lived in the house of another man” the demon Ravana.”

(    2)   From NVM p.237  “In a previous life this weaver had been the best tailor of Mithila.  He was requested by Janaka Maharaja to make clothes for Rama and Laksmana on the occasion of Rama’s marriage to Sita.

But even thought the tailor had prepared the finest clothes for the sons of Dasaratha, he was not allowed to dress Them himself.  Thus he lamented, hoping that fate would favour him some day.”

(    3)   SB 10.41.49,51  " [...] Thus with great pleasure he {Sudama} presented Them {Krishna

and Balarama} with garlands of fresh, fragrant flowers."

Sudama chose unshakable devotion for Krishna, the Supreme Soul of all existence;

friendship with His devotees, and transcendental compassion for all living beings."

(    4)   NVM p.263 "Krishna heard the ladies' praise and remembered the gopis.  That momentary distraction gave Canura the upper hand.  Nandaraja, sensing Krishna was in danger, stood up and called out "Oh my son!". 

(    5)   NVM p267 "Holding Kamsa by the hair, Krishna proudly dragged the dead King's lifeless body...."  This to give assurance to the people and the Vrsni that now the demon was dead, but there was also something else that Krishna remembered for which He pulled Kamsa by his hair ...

"Sankhacuda : Now in order to fulfill the unfulfilled desire of my dear friend King Kamsa, I will grab the hair of the lotus-like girl on this throne and drag Her away ."  Sri Lalita Madhava Act II

"And because She dries Her hair with the smoke of burning aguru, the aroma of Her hair fortifies that feeling of Krishna's presence." NVM p. 390

(6)  Gopala Campu 33.109, 111-113 "Krishna said 'Why will I not go to                                                                                                                     Vraja...."

             [Narada] "When Kamsa will be killed, his many friends, just like                                            Jarasandha, will become like him, how will you be able to go?"

             "Krishna said, 'I will not go just to see them?' 

             "Narada said with a rough laugh,

                                 'No, no.'    

   

The Way to Bhakti

BG 3.16 

evam pravartitam cakram

nanuvartayatiha yah

aghayur indriyaramo

mogham partha sa jivati 

                                      

"My dear Arjuna, one who does not follow in human life the cycle of sacrifice thus established by the Vedas certainly leads a life full of sin.  Living only for the satisfaction of the sense, such a person lives in vain."

Translation from "A comprehensive guide to Bhagavad Gita" - BG 3.16

"A cycle is made to turn.  One who does not keep it turning, a sense enjoyer of errant life,  lives in vain, Partha."

BG 4.31 "O Best of Kurus, one who does not sacrifice [offering] has not this world.  How then the next?"

The Way to Bhakti

evam ...in this way

the night again falls after  day,

the milky stars fall beyond the horizon

on their revolving way,

and ghee falls into the fire,

and the Source-of-All 
with the souls re-unite,

thus the Universe speaks ~

motion is a wheel

as you receive

offer back

do not keep,

just as the tree gives

from the water it receives,

but does not hold nor taste

how its fruit is sweet. (1)

Do not take, neither keep ~

always give back,

and put love in your hands
without holding back,

'cause it was given like that,

whatever we have is a gift,

do not grab for anything

lest envy, lust and greed

 hold your heart

in a dark grip;

from the air we receive our life,

from the earth the plants

to stay alive,

and emotions from a beautiful sky,

from the stars a cuddle to sleep,

even darkness gives us dreams

and we rejoice in the flowers,

the sun rays, the cool breezes,

but do not forget, it is not ours,

it is received,

gratefully reciprocate,

 love means to always give,

and in this way 
with Bhakti 

turn the universal wheel.

Mahabharata  113

पिबन्ति नद्य: स्वयम् एव न अम्भ: स्वयं न खादन्ति फलानि वॄक्षा: |

न अदन्ति सस्यं खलु वारिवाहा परोपकाराय सतां विभूतय: ||

The rivers don't drink their own water. The trees don't eat their own fruits. The clouds don't eat the crops to which they give the water.

KAMSA

 SB 10.42.32 "When he [Kamsa] looked at his reflection he could not see his head; for no reason the moon and stars appeared double; he saw a hole in his shadow; he could not hear the sound of his life air; [..] Seeing these and other such omens both while dreaming and while awake Kamsa was terrified by the prospect of death and out of anxiety he could not sleep." 

Bhagavad-gita 16.11 "The demoniac, taking shelter of insatiable lust, pride and false prestige, and being thus illusioned, are always sworn to unclean work, attracted by the impermanent."

"They (asuras) believe that to gratify the senses unto the end of life is the prime necessity of human civilization. Thus there is no end to their anxiety. Being bound by hundreds and thousands of desires, by lust and anger, they secure money [wealth] by illegal means for sense gratification."  

Demoniac nature is clearly exposed in these two verses of the Bhagavad Gita. The demonic principles are mainly two - that there is no Godhead and/or acting in all possible ways as if in the position of God. Blinded by a mentality of "I", "me" and "mine", the demoniac attempt to lord it over others and material nature, exploit people and circumstances and live lives pursuing insatiable desires at any cost. 

So, I have presented the personality and psychology of Kamsa .........

KAMSA

No one dethroned the heavens,

but I!

and the celestial realm

and this planet

became mine,

even the immortals fled

terrified by my might.

Alas! the thunderous sound

of the broken bow

echoed the dreadful prophecy

of thunder-like words,(1)

frightens me just the same(2)

as when the bullock cart broke,

and now causes my shadow

to vanish in a hole.

Now I know,

death personified is here, 

on my threshold,

my eye quivers

heralding that which was foretold,

this boy Krishna

has come to kill me,

but - tomorrow - maybe,

one more chance to get rid

of him, his family, my relatives

and of those cowherds,

of all my foes 
once and for all ...

of this fear 

haunting me,

since before He was born.

The stars are doubled in the sky,

           an awful jackal lurks   (3)   

in the sleeplessness of this night,

awake or dreaming

ill omens are in front of my eyes,

the messenger of my death has arrived,

now is here ...

I was forced by this fear

to enact wicked deeds,

but the power of wind, (*)

the grip of pride,

even untold mystic tricks failed

against this little boy in disguise.

He is Hari!

but born from the womb (4)

of a human being,

how can I not win?

His power must be weak!

I destroyed many chariots (5)

with a kick,

and many horses I killed

with my heel,

I'll defeat destiny

and its sneer

tomorrow in the arena.

...Still, this persistent agitation

broods over me,

no relief from this vexation,

even looking at this mirror

now I fear

at my reflection ~

as I look

 my head has disappeared.

1)  SB 10.1.34 "While Kamsa, controlling the reins of the horses, was driving the chariot along the way, an unembodied voice addressed him, "You foolish rascal, the eighth child of the woman you are carrying will kill you!"

2) Sri Krishna Vijaya "By the kick of His feet, Krishna broke a bullock cart.  The sound of this kicking travelled a long distance and Kamsa became very frightened when he heard it" 

3) Gopala Campu - Ch.5.2 "Night came.  When it came, an auspicious jackal, auspicious for Krsna and inauspicious for Kamsa appeared.  Kamsa passed the fearful night dreaming and waking up."  

4) Sri Krishna Vijaya "(Kamsa tells to his demon friends) [...] As Hari has taken birth as a human being, He must have power like that of a human being, so what can He do with such limited power?" 

5) SGS 4.14.25  "Kicking them with his feet, Kamsa destroyed many chariots.  Kicking them with his heel, Kamsa killed many horses, He beat many elephants and many he overturned, their feet kicking in the air." 

(*) This 4 line stanza refers to the demon friends of Kamsa who were killed by Krishna in Vraja. Trnavarta is the wind demon, who represents pride according Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura. Most of the demons attacking Krishna represent "pride", but their grip could do nothing against Him. Also mystical tricks were used to fight Krishna by the different demons sent by Kamsa.

LOVE under the TAMARIND TREE

In my search for the pastimes of Krishna in Vraja where He manifests His golden form as Caitanya Mahaprabhu, the pastime at Imli Tal is a shining gem.

This is in short :

When Shri Radha disappeared from the midst of the rasa dance, Krishna was searching for Her with intense feelings of separation. This mood of separation increased Their anticipation for meeting, and thus very much increased Their intensity of love.Krishna, in this mood of separation sat down under this Tamarind Tree or Imli Tal and became so completely absorbed in the thoughts of Shrimati Radharani and chanting Her name, that His body assumed the color of Shrimati Radharani.

Nava Vraja Mahima "For a moment Radha and Krshna gazed into each other's faces, and then, in the same way that the moon sinks into the ocean, They submerged Themselves in the waves of each other's ambrosial beauty." pg 363

"God is engaged in enjoying with His eternal consort, Śrīmati Rādhārāṇī. This Śrīmati Rādhārāṇī is enchanting Kṛṣṇa, and Kṛṣṇa is enchanting Rādhārāṇī. [...] In the Caitanya-caritāmṛta it is said that when Kṛṣṇa comes before Rādhārāṇī, She becomes so much engladdened by seeing the beauty of Kṛṣṇa that She becomes more beautiful, and as soon as Rādhārāṇī becomes beautiful, Kṛṣṇa becomes engladdened and He becomes more beautiful. So unlimitedly there is competition of becoming more beautiful, duhe lage hurai (?). That is the state. Competition. Because in the spiritual world everything is unlimited. So unlimitedly both of them becoming beautiful and both of them enjoying unlimitedly."Srila Prabhupada - Lecture on SB 1.2.8 -- New Vrindaban

Under the spell of the lunar light

Shyam took a beam

to adorn Radha's face,

but saw it brighter than the Moon!

as Her eyes like Chakora birds

flew on the rays

drinking the moonlight of His face.

Radha slipped a berry in His mouth

with grace

and hesitant fingertips ~

how much redder now were His lips!

'cause Krishna, sipping

the red lotus of Her eyes,

was instantly drowned 

by the sweetness of Her love

and fell spellbound.

Closing His eyes

tuned a note on His flute

to attract Her mind,

but when surprised to find

       Her behind His eyelid    (1)

a shiver ran up His skin,

and enraptured He screamed

Radhe, Radhe,

under that Tamarind tree,

under the stars in the sky,

on the river of Their Love,

He sat and cried,

and drifted into ecstasy

in an unknown shoreless sea,

lost His mind in Her heart,

and became the Moon,

golden glowing

with Her love mood.

1) Gopala Campu 17.3 “Whenever Radha or Krishna fainted in private, they had an internal vision of their lover, equivalent to actual presence, for bringing auspicious results.”

IMLI Tal mentioned in Caitanya Caritamrita Madhya Lila Ch. 18.76-78

"The tamarind tree named Teṅtulī-talā was very old, having been there since the time of Lord Kṛṣṇa's pastimes. Beneath the tree was a very shiny platform.

Since the River Yamunā flowed near Teṅtulī-talā, a very cool breeze blew there. While there, the Lord saw the beauty of Vṛndāvana and the water of the River Yamunā.

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu used to sit beneath the old tamarind tree and chant the holy name of the Lord. At noon He would return to Akrūra-tīrtha to take lunch."

WATERS OF MOONLIGHT

Excerpted from PILI Pokhara pastime story

"And then She [Radha] began to wash her hands and the waters turned golden and the waves spread out in all directions, hitting the banks and rippling back – forming a beautiful pattern of evolving rasa. And as the waters turned – from Her hands – that golden luster begin expanding toward the far shores of the kund.

Her friends were just watching with intent – the different levels of love that appeared to be rising like the ocean tide within their hearts and expressing themselves on Her facial expression; they were just enchanted watching their friend wash Her hands. And She just kept washing." 

This poem is part of the poetry born from my search of the pastimes in Vraja when Krishna manifests His form as Gauranga Mahaprabhu (see also in this blog "Love under the Tamarind Tree").

(PILI POKHARA -Full story link http://www.dandavats.com/?p=16631)

WATERS OF MOONLIGHT

The Princess of swans 

glided from the shore

with grace

and the waters returned

the beauty of Her image,

imperceptibly she paused, 

amazed

and absorbed,

with a lost-in-love gaze,

washed her hands

and her thoughts drifted away,

liquefied - spread out

in circular waves,

her mind so immersed in love,

let an amber intoxicating wake

 ooze from her palms,

tinting with gold the surface

mirroring her amorous heart,

and in this way erased

the blue sky from that lake;

She, with fairy steps, went away

and the waters remained dyed

with molten gold moon rays.

The Blue Swan,

object of that love,

came to the golden pond,

with His fingers grazed

the splendor of the moon,

struck by a quiver

of marvelous love

He stood dazed

peering at His image

in those waters

of golden glaze,

and then He knew

the spell was Her mood

and felt Himself

to be the be-all and the end-all

of that fluid love,

so thrilled by its taste

He immersed His hand

His arm and, more amazed,

went in up to His neck,

then taken by a rapture so intense

felt a longing

to call aloud to Himself;

Emerging from the lake

His blue sapphire luster lost, 
 now golden

He walked away

chanting His own name.