WHEN I FELL FROM LOVE

WHEN I FELL FROM LOVE

"Eons of joy in eternal time seem one instant, one instant  of eternal time in wickedness are millions years of miseries."

This poem was inspired by the controversial subject matter of whether or not the jiva, the soul, fell originally from Vaikuntha.  While reading many arguments and essays on this subject, the conclusions of which are a matter for pandits and scholars, this poet became caught up in a vision of the emotions associated with such a fall, because ultimately it was a fall from love ...

Conversation after  Bhagavad-gita 3.27 lecture '74 in Melbourne -

[Srila Prabhupada] :    "Yes. You forced Krishna to allow you to come". 

THE DECEITFUL BOATMAN

THE DECEITFUL BOATMAN

With tantalizing words
the boatman left the shore,
yet His flute revealed 
He was the Moon,
He took the stars to the sky
and delighted, he desired
their milky load,
but tasting the sparkles
of their love
He drank it all. 

COME BACK TO VRAJA!

CC Madhya Lila 1.76 [Radharani said] - “My dear friend, now I have met My very old and dear friend Kṛṣṇa on this field of Kurukṣetra. I am the same Rādhārāṇī, and now We are meeting together. It is very pleasant, but still I would like to go to the bank of the Yamunā beneath the trees of the forest there. I wish to hear the vibration of His sweet flute playing the fifth note within that forest of Vṛndāvana.”

It was during a solar eclipse that Radha and the Gopis got to meet Krishna again, after long days of separation since He had left Vrindavana on Akrura's chariot to Mathura.  But now in front of their eyes they do not have the cowherd boy, covered of dust, wearing a headband and flowers amidst His curls. 

So, His turban appears to their eyes even more big and glitzy, all studded with gems, but eclipsing the image of that bluish boy, Who has stolen their hearts in the groves of Vraja and had accompanied their dreams and secret thoughts every day of their life.  

Even though the joy of seeing Him again is in no way reduced, this meeting, compared to the feeling of their rendez-vous  in Vraja, is missing some flavours. Radha and the Gopis resolute that it is because they are away from Vrindavana.  So, with the ropes of their love they put Krishna on the chariot of their hearts and pull it toward Vraja .... this is the churning emotion that moves the devotees around world during Jagannath Ratha Yatra.

Caitanya Caritamrta ML 1.82  [The Gopis thought ] "Dear Lord, if Your lotus feet again come to our home in Vrndavana, our desires will be fulfilled." - 

~~~

                                                                                                                          

In these days of eclipsed sun rays

has also the Moon lost its radiance?

Your moonlike face  

beneath this grandiose turban

full of gems    
seems shaded.

Where is the moonlight of our desires

and the flute tormenting our minds,

the mineral colors, the dust, the perspiration

that adorned the blue luster of Your skin,

the pearls and feathers swaying in the wind,

the blue flowers graciously embracing your face,

the You, that ocean in which our eyes used to bathe?

.... It is only there, under the bowers,

loitering on the sands of the Yamuna

and  always within the hearts,

of Your women in Gokula.

Now dressed in silvery veils,

recalling the stars

of the nights in Vraja,

with raised arms

to attract Your smiling glance

we’ll move in circling steps

to remind You of our dance

by the riverbank,

we'll move along on the way to Vraja

singing and waving our hands,

pulling the ropes of our Prem

to draw You back,

with trembling  skin,

with anticipation,

 of the sweetest moment

to see You,
coming down the large road

entering Vraja
at dusk,
like so many times before.

But now ~ 

nothing will ever be the same

since You might leave again.

CHALLENGED TO LOVE - The Song of Rukmini ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

Srimad Bhagavatam 10.60.58 "Sukadeva Goswami said : And so the self-satisfied Supreme Lord of the universe enjoyed with the goddess of fortune, engaging her in lovers' talks and thus imitating the ways of human society."


From Sri Caitanya Mangala Ch.2 : " 'My dear Lord, You are the crest-jewel of all transcendental qualities. Within Your heart You can't know why I'm crying, even though everything else is known to You"


Krishna visits Rukmini in Her palace and she starts to cry profusely.  The Lord wonders what has caused these tears and if He has done anything wrong. Rukmini slightly angry but with an affectionate tone explains to the Lord :

"...You know everything there is to know, but how is it that You don't understand the heart of one who loves Your lotus feet? "

The conclusion of this pastime is that Krishna will take up the advice of Rukmini Devi and announce His appearance as Lord Caitanya by  taking the mood of Radha - as suggested by the Queen - and experience the love of whom loves Him.

"You will understand the intensity of the love I feel if you cultivate Radha-bhava, the mood of Srimati Radharani's selfless love, within Your heart.'

In the poem I refer to Radha as "the One in Your dreams" because Rukmini had witnessed, while Lord Krishna was asleep, that She was coming in His dreams, since He would call Her aloud and cry.

This poetry has been put into music, to listen click :
♫ ♪ ♫ ♪       https://soundcloud.com/mauro-auaro/challenged-to-love    ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

You know everything, 

all there is to know

but You do not know

what love is,

the one in Your dreams

She knows

It’s a storm

unleashed by Your limbs,

how can you understand

the touch of Your hand

the fragrance of Your skin

a never ebbing tide,

so, this heart now weeps

soon, again - You’ll leave.

The Queen of your dreams

She does know,

Her love owns You,- no,

you do not understand

the love of one who loves You

You don’t know how dense

the honey of this love for You

Have you ever tasted love tears?

It’s a sweeping ocean of emotions

the sweetest of dances

clasped in your glances

no heat or cold, nor day or night

or sense of within or outside

the roads of love for You

become so wide.

the Moon of your dreams 

tastes the intensity of love,

that You need to know, 

take Radha's heart into Your heart

beg Her love, giving Your love,

because She never stops loving You.

Lyrics - Challenged to Love

You know everything there is to know

Can you understand love at all?

You don’t know what love is

The One in your dreams She surely knows

It’s a storm ... unleashed by your limbs

A never ebbing tide of the heart

Now weeps ‘cause you’ll go away again

(1)   You don’t understand the love of those

                                                         ...who love You!

                                         (R) The Moon of Your dreams, She knows

You don’t know ...what love is.

Take Radha’s heart ....

That’s you need to know ...taste Her love

because She knows ...what love is

because she knows...ooohh She knows

...what love is.

Nor heat or cold, nor day or night

Nor sense of in or outside

Roads of love for You are so wide

The Queen of Your dreams She does know

She owns You ... with Her honey-like love for You

a sweeping ocean of joy and tears

The sweetest dances raptured in Your glances.

(1)   + (R)

IN ITALIAN

Tu sai tutto quello che c'è da sapere

ma non riesci a capire l'amore ?

Tu non sai cos'è l'amore

Colei che e' nei tuoi sogni sicuramente sa

Si tratta di una tempesta scatenata

dalle Tue membra

Una marea del cuore  che non scende mai

Ora [il cuore]  piange perche' andrai via di nuovo

(1) Non capisci l'amore di chi ti ama!

 (R) La Luna dei tuoi sogni, Lei sa

Tu non sai ... cosa sia l'amore.

allora prendi il cuore di Radha ....

E' tutto quello che devi sapere ... assaggia il Suo amore

perché Lei sa cosa sia l'amore ...

perché Lei sa ... ooohh lo sa

... cos'è l'amore.

Ne' caldo ne' freddo, nè giorno ne' notte

Né senso di dentro o del fuori

Le strade d'amore per Te sono così ampie

La regina dei tuoi sogni Lei lo sa

Ti possiede ... con il suo amore simile al miele

un oceano travolgente di gioia e lacrime

Le danze più dolci rapite tra i tuoi sguardi.

NO MORE BLUISH !

NVM by Sivaram Swami "..[...] Sri Krishna. His form glistens with the hue of amorous love, which resembles the colour of sapphires, blue lotuses, black mascara, fresh rain clouds, and the tamala tree." 
This pastime is told in some old Orian Gaudiya songs and was brought to us by H H Srila Gour Govinda Maharaja.  This is one excerpt from Sri Krishna Kathamrita N.9 pg 44 :  "But taking all Her girl companions to a secluded place, Radhika expressed Her anger to them.  She said :"Henceforward, anyone who even utters His name, will be considered My enemy, From today on, I will not look at any black or deep-blue colored things - even new clouds or black dresses, etc."

Radha had been waiting for Krishna to come to Her kunja. She had decorated it with flowers and petals and waited for Him as they had messaged to each other the day before at the Yamuna.  But He did not come and Lalita found out that He had spent the night at Candravali's kunja.  So, Radha became angry : "I will not longer go to the Yamuna!  I will not longer bind My black hair or apply black kajjala to My eyes.  I will not look at the black rain cloud.  Black is My enemy.  O Vishaka!  That black enemy stung Me."

So, this poem is inspired by Radha's angry mood which reveals how the black, dark, deep-blue, bluish, blackish, cloudy things constantly remind Her of Krishna.  In this way Radha is the greatest  Yogi.

O Sakhi, O friend,
get rid of this dark color,
anything black
do not bring it here
in front of my eyes!

Shyam has not come
to the bed of petals
fragrant with my love,
now all blown away
along with my hope;
whatever is blue, dark, black
or dense like a cloud
reminding me of Him
keep it away from me!

I'll erase the dark of the sky
from my nights, 
and from my days, 
the darkening monsoon clouds
resembling His skin,
I was betrayed and cheated
understand my chagrin!
Even in this mirror
I won't look again at my braid
nor the black around my eyes
- I'll give them up, 
enough with the make up!

Swat this black bumblebee away!
And I do not want to hear
the black crows or the cuckoos sound;
also this Tamal tree, pull it out!
its dark trunk...
its maddening blackish hue -
I'll not hug it anymore,  
no, never again,
crying out His name!

No blackish, no bluish, finish!
my saree, my bangles,
their deep blue I spurn,
from now on, O Sakhi,
tint them with gold;
I was disgraced and left forlorn
thus I have sworn
never again ~ nothing black
in my thoughts;
Don't ever speak to me
about that dark blue Lover
no - this time I'll not forgive
I'll resist...
I will forget
the black, the blue
 even exist.

Radha becomes angry.
Radha said : " My dear friend! Listen to the painful story of what that thief of Nilamani did to Me yesterday. He for whom I have become a disgrace in Vraja, that same person yesterday night took rest at Chandravali's kunja. Yesterday on the bank of the Yamuna, Shyam gave some indication to meet Me at My kunha, but He did not show up. I have been keeping this gunha-mala neck lace as the sign of His signal, but Chandravali usurped Him. What type of mantra did that woman apply to Shyam that the flower bed I made for Him became useless? I made a lamp of flowers for Him, but the boat of My hope drowned in the water. Last night I wasted the entire evening, O friend! Don't speak to me the name of Krishna, Whoever speaks that name will be My enemy. This is the vow of Radha. From today onwards I give up all tupes of black-colored things, I will no use black eyeliner anymore in My eyes."

The Swords of Saladin

ونحن قد عاد من الجهاد الأصغر إلى الجهاد الأكبر

"We have returned from the lesser jihad (Holy War) to the greater jihad".  Prophet Muhammad

 This poem is inspired  by “Saladin - The song of Swords” – A poem by Sufi Ahmed Murad Chisti. Saladin, a great military leader of Islam, became famous for his outstanding quality as a faithful servant of the Lord, and being scrupulous in his practice and application of the precepts.

---

The wooden sword becomes the symbolism of this hadith (an instructive quote from the Prophet) about Holy War, for the "greater war" refers to the inner spiritual struggle necessary to defeat one's lower nature, to proceed on the path of self-realization. A wooden sword is unsuitable for a war of conflict, where hand and sword combine. Therefore it was placed next to the Khatib (preacher) during the sermon to remind everyone that there is no greater struggle than the interior one to develop one's spiritual qualities.  Religious practices and injunctions may vary from doctrine to doctrine, but all are to spiritually support and strengthen the devotee while conducting this inner struggle.

This is something common to all the spiritualists engaged in the "greater jihad" against pride, anger, greed, hatred and envy. 

So, this poem it is about the realization that sometimes in a stage of 'green' immaturity in spiritual pursuit, practitioners tend to abruptly and forcibly "cut" attachments and often this results in an artificial way of giving up one's desires. 

in Bhakti yoga, the Yoga of devotion, there is also this struggle, but the softness of the heart has to be preserved because the seed of Bhakti can sprout only in this condition in the heart.  Bhakti flourishes in positiveness, it is  susukhaḿ kartum, performed with great joy, (Bg. 9.2) and meditating on factors of vitiated consciousness (anarthas) might cause our Ego to turn and search for them in others, and thus easily fall into pride.  On the other hand, with renewed enthusiasm, taking into the heart the chanting of the Holy Name will ignite the process of transforming our desires, our attachments, our sources of joy, and our overall consciousness.

Tomorrow I will raise the sword

And cut.

I’ll give it all up!

Lamentation nests in the heart,

weaving sprigs of ego,

where hatching 

of attachments and desires

all born of the mind

cause my sorrow ~

I know.

But tomorrow,

With force,

I will raise the Sword-of-Fire

And strike!

The flame will devour the unwanted .....

But ~ 
Fire never penetrates as love.

Charring, it hardens and darkens,

alas, what then will become of the heart?

In a bare land,

unforeseeable are the ways leading astray,

where ever-green roots of pride might sprout.

How to find the strength

to raise the Sword-of-Fire,

every and each day

following tomorrow?

But here and now,

I can raise,

and brandish the Sword-of-Water!

Water bursts and gushes 

from a glacier-like heart,

roaring, piercing,lashing.

Only with faith,
and in no other way,

the stone-blocks of anger and pride 

melt in the soothing liquid of the Holy Names.

In the same way water erodes rocks

but softly refreshes the skin, 

They will transform the desires

inundating the heart 
with Their brilliance,

and in this ever-fresh new festival of joy

I will chant and dance.

Only Krishna’s sweetness

can destroy whatever is unwanted,

and tomorrow, again, easily,

I will unsheathe the Sword-of-Water

to win the greater war of Saladin
with a sincere cry of the heart

by calling “Krishna. Krishna.”

His Sword-of-Ether,¹

as potent as all swords in one,

will reveal to me the honeyed fluid of love.

Then no more will there be a future tense

But only an eternal, ever-sweeter present. 

1)  SB 12.11.17 “His sword, pure as the sky, [is] the element of Ether.”

THE SYMBOL OF THE SWORD
The sword, like many other symbols, contains more than one meaning. Its dual blade and the inherent function to pierce, makes the sword a symbol of the word. Even in placing the sword next to the Khatib is also to symbolize the power of the word. The word might be our fortune or our condemnation ~ in this lies the duplicity of the blade. If we use the word deplorably and without control, the word prevents our efforts toward self-realization and we could fall into a stalemate, as well as damaging the progress of other people. Words wound as swords.

"Austerity of speech consists in speaking words that are truthful, pleasing, beneficial and not agitating to others, and also in regularly reciting Vedic literature." BG 17.15

Instead, a favourable use of the word, has the power to elevate one to a higher consciousness and also to pass the benefit on to others. In this case the word pierces the heart as a sword, letting in the light .

Even in the Christian tradition we find the symbolism of the word and the sword : " In His right hand he held seven stars, and coming out of His mouth was a sharp, double- edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance " -Revelation 1:16
The sloka reported in the poem : "His [of the Lord] sword, as well as the sky , [is] the element of Ether ." SB 12:11:17 is an indirect reference to the power of the sound coming from and manifesting the Lord, as the element of Ether is a grosser form of sound .

SB 11.4.11  Purport " Although crossing the ocean of sense gratification, those who perform severe penances without service to the Lord eventually drown in tiny puddles of anger. One who simply performs material penances does not actually purify his heart.  By one's material determination one may restrict the activities of the senses although one's heart is still filled with material desires.  The practical result of this is krodha, or anger.  We have seen artificial performers of penance who have become very bitter and angry through denial of the senses.  [...]  Thus anger gives neither liberation nor material sense gratification, but merely burns up all the results of material penances and austerities.

SB 11.5.33 "Generally the conditioned souls are engaged in bhoga-tyaga.  Sometimes they run madly after material prestige and sense gratification, and sometimes they desperately try to renounce these things.  However, beyond this vicious cycle of alternating sense gratification and renunciation are the lotus feet of the Lord Which constitute the ultimate abode of peace and happiness for the living entity."

UNTOLD LOVE

"The Lord's charming looks overshadowed the attractiveness of millions of cupids put together.

 I am at a loss to find the appropriate similes to describe the Lord's beauty yet I venture to do so only by His mercy alone otherwise who can dare to attempt such an impossible task. He glowed like a mountain of gold, His body being smeared with sandal paste sometimes looked like the rising full moon. His curly dark tresses were decorated with the fragrant Malati garlands; a sweet smile clung intimately to His lips that can win the heart of all the muses.  The clear markings of sandalwood tilak with a red dot of Vermilion adorned His beautiful broad forehead. He raised His arms up in the sky chanting the name of Hari and danced; the knee long flower garland around His neck swayed with each movement. His upraised arms glistened like fine tapering pillars of gold, His body became drenched with the incessant flow of ecstatic tears from His lotus petal eyes. As the ecstatic feelings increased the hairs of His body stood on end like the ever fresh Kadamba flower. Chaitanya Bhagavata MK 23 ch.