krūra krūreti cakrūram
Calling
out "Cruel Cruel!" they jeered Akrura.
Sri Lalita Madhava - Distraught Radha: -
"Become conscious for a moment and look.
What misfortune! Merciless Akrura urges on the horses."
When
you go to Gokula it is possible that someone tells you this story
....
I
was there,
with
sleepless eyes,
could
not hold back the sun
so
not to rise,
when
the tearful whispers
of
the night became cries
but
I could hear no sound
since
my heart lamented
more
loud,
but
the cruel voice
amid
my numbness, rose
in
an averse prayer (1)
when
it urged the horse
to
move on,
I
swooned,
my
bangles, dress, rings
like
petals of a withering flower,
loosened and slipped
I
was there,
distraught,
that
day at dawn
yet
I saw not the horizon
but
the hooves, the ground
the
rims, the spokes of the wheels,
cruelly
ready to leave,
my
hand outstretched, desperate
to
grasp, to pull back, to halt,
...once
more ~ to touch...
for
I had not enough
of
His fragrant embraces
nor
of His dancing hips
or
His Tulsi-scented chest
and
of His tempting hands,
nor
of His camphored breath,
nor
my eyes had enough
of
the piercing love of His glance,
of
the sweat streaks
on
His sandal-smeared skin,
nor
of the sweetness
of
His cherry red lips,
nor
of His impudent words and tricks
no,
no, I had not enough
of
the hidden groves, the secret trysts
the
nights of moon-glow... (2)
but suddenly I was there,
calling
out behind His wheels,
the stones, the trees, melted
flowed
with my tears in streams
I
slumped in the dust
holding my unfinished wreath,
fated
to never adorn Him.
I
was there, stunned,
the
cruel wheels started,
distance
became unbearably true
I
saw the flag, His silhouette (3)
fading
in a fog of dust
"I'll
return" (4)
resounded as the
last note
from His flute
and still echoes
in
my heart, in the groves,
in
the eyes I meet on the roads,
it's
the only rope of hope
for
this
I
still unashamedly breathe.
1)
SLM
(Purnamasi) "... before Akrura
mounts his chariot and begins chants auspicious prayers for departure.."
2) Laghu B. Txt 508, 511-512 "Though astonishing
Gokula, the essence of Mathura, seems like a limited area, it expands and
contracts according to the pastimes of Krsna."
"According
to the particular pastimes there is a suitable appearance of various places
which can be seen by those participating in the particular pastime and not by
the unqualified."
"It
is astonishing that at one time these forms of the abodes exist factually
without mixing with each other at all."
When
Krishna leaves, Vrindavana expands into the separation of Navadvip and later
into the ecstasy of meeting after long separation of Kshetra Dham, because
there is no meaning to separation in love if it is not followed by meeting,
union and separation and in this way the waves of love flow to never ebb, and
swell again and again thus increasing eternally.
3) SGS 5.4.37 "As long as the chariot,
its flag, or the cloud of dust the running horses made could be seen, the
stunned gopis stood like painted pictures on the path. Then, remembering Lord Krsna's words, they
became hopeful."
4) SGS 5.4.35 "Girls, don't cry. At sunset I will return."
