GB 1.46 "Speaking in this manner,
Arjuna, giving up his bow and arrow, his mind disturbed with lamentation, sat
down on his chariot amidst the conflict."
This
poetry expresses the feelings and realizations of being one " Arjuna" who after hearing the Bhagavad Gita and
Srimad Bhagavatam (for many years) still is looking at his toes in ignorance.
Then someone, a wise seer, speaking to my heart, unveiled the path from where I
got stuck, infused me the faith in the scripture, in the process of bhakti, so
to rise and combat.
"Facing
the unwanted" is the time of introspection when the "unwanted" -
the egotistical aspects of the ego - are recognized as the stumbling blocks to
firm faith and to steadiness on the path of bhakti.
SD 3.25.33 "Bhakti, devotional
service, dissolve the subtle body of the living entity without separate effort,
just as fire in the stomach digests all that we eat."
My
chariot has stopped
after
jolting to and fro,
and
I'm aware only of my toes
soaked
in tears,
as
I sit looking down
as
if no sound is around,
and
for so long not knowing
where
I am.
My
chariot has stopped
and
with deep sorrow,
my
head hanging down,
I
sit with pity without piety,
surrounded
by a throbbing silence
caused
by the emptiness of my heart,
lamenting,
unable to look up, (1)
confused
and oblivious to everyone.
Then
a hand, a touch,
a
benevolent voice,
calls
forth 'the Arjuna'
ready
to combat,
infuses
in me the force
with
care and wise words (2)
to
perceive how my chariot
got
stuck,
by
cumulated layers, life after life
of
unwanted results, (3)
to
see that Krishna is in front,
ready
to lead,
personal,
with
qualities and shining limbs,
friend,
well-wisher, eager
for
a loving relationship,
and
that between two forces, (4)
only
by mercy, bhakti will appear
like
a moon from an eclipse
dissolving
the unfavorable duality. (5)
My
chariot has halted
but
now I stand up,
without
duplicity and ado (6)
assessing
my heart
start
my chariot anew.
1) SD 2.9.34 "One should understand my maya by whose power real objects are perceived through vidya and
false objects are perceived through avidya, in relation to the self ..."
Pity for oneself, confusion and
lamentation are expansions of the maya
sakti through the function of avidya and are perceived as existent by the
conditioned soul in ignorance (without
piety or sattva).
2) Under the care, benevolence
and guidance of guru.
3)
"Unwanted results" is the literal translation of anarthas. SB
4.29.37 Purport "Saṁsṛti, or
material existence, begins with the illusioned bodily conception of life, and
on the basis of this conception there ensues a series of unwanted things (anarthas). These unwanted things are actually mental
desires for various types of sense gratification. In this way one accepts
different types of bodies within this material world."
4) Vidya and Avidya which
were present in Kurukshetra as the two confronting armies : Yudisthira's and Duryodhana's respectively. Bhakti is independent
from the two and appears only by grace of Krishna, Bhakti-devi and pure bhakta.
5) Maya-sakti involves two
functions and one is unfavorable to the jiva
(avidya) and the other is favorable for liberation through knowledge
(vidya). Bhakti dissolves both being two
aspects of the material energy because the Lord cannot be realized by sattva :
SB11.14.21 "I am achieved by bhakti
only".
6) Facing the unwanted starts
by being truthful firstly to oneself.
